7 Tips For Working Through Negative Feelings And Getting Out Of A Rut
No matter how positive you try to be in your day-to-day life, the truth is, there are just going to be days or even weeks where you’ll feel down or in a rut. It’s an unavoidable truth for even the most optimistic of people because we’re only human.
Things like irritation, boredom, anger and negative emotions have a way of hitting you when you least expect them, no matter how prepared you think you are to deal with them. That’s the bad news, the good news is that there is something you can do about it. You don’t have to lay down and let this rough patch get the best of you.
The secret is making the decision to not let it take hold of you and taking action to fight it as soon as you realize it’s happening. If you wait too long you could fall victim to it and run the risk of losing valuable time feeling sad and unhappy.
This article is meant to give you tips on how to work with problems and negative emotions that life will toss at you every now and then without letting them consume you.
The first step you need to take is recognize and identify what it is that’s starting to bother you. Take some time alone to really sit and reflect on what’s truly going on and what you’re actually feeling. Journaling, talking with a loved one, meditating, going for a long walk, or speaking to a talented psychic are all things that can help you shed light on the situation.
A lot of times things aren’t really what they seem and when we have a problem in our lives we tend to blame others instead of ourselves. For example, is your job bumming you out and giving you anxiety? It might be easiest to blame your boss or your co-workers but you need to ask yourself if they are really the problem.
Look as far inside yourself as you can to see if there is a bigger issue going on that perhaps you’re choosing to ignore. When you look further at a situation, you might be surprised at what you’ll find. Maybe you initially thought that your co-worker was just so annoying but the truth is that you only think that way because you’re actually envious of them?
Maybe you resent the fact that they get more praise, or seem to get away with doing less work than you. Maybe your boss isn’t just mean to you for no reason, perhaps you aren’t performing as well as you know you can and you just aren’t taking responsibility for your own actions.
Just because you’ve been at your job for a long time doesn’t mean those above you are willing to take less from you. Could it be that you’ve stopped taking initiative and began relying on others to do things for you at work? Maybe there is something else that is distracting you and keeping you from doing the best job you can do.
Sometimes people just get burned out at work and it could be time for you to change it up and do something different for a living. You need to figure out whatever it is that’s going on inside and bring it out into the light. Don’t take the easy way out or settle for the easy answer because that isn’t going to help you very much in the long run.
Once you’ve identified what it is that’s making you feel these negative feelings, you need to keep it at the forefront of your mind and not let it get shoved away again. It’s important that you literally sit down and really FEEL it, let it sink way in. Think about how it makes you feel, how it manifests itself in your life, how it hurts you and your goals.
There’s a chance that you’ve realized before what the issue was but you didn’t hold on to it or choose to deal with it, choosing instead to ignore it and let it disappear only to come back up later. You may have thought that if you disregard it, it will just fix itself but in actuality, everything always comes back up until you deal with it at its root.
More often than not, it comes back with a vengeance and makes you feel even worse every time. It’s time to take the reins and deal with it once and for all. This is especially true when the solution to the issue means doing something you do not want to do at all.
It could be that you KNOW you’re burned out at your job and need to find something different but you also know how much work that will be and you don’t want to put in the work that it takes to switch. You hate the process of looking for a job, refreshing your resume, scheduling interviews, and even being interviewed.
It’s a lot of work and it might be easier to stay stuck where you’re unhappy but this isn’t going to make your negative feelings go away. You need to put in the work to make yourself happier. In order to do all of this you have to be uncomfortable enough with the current situation.
Discomfort motivates change and that is why you need to feel the discomfort. Let it sink in and truly feel how uncomfortable it makes you feel. This unpleasant feeling is the fuel you need to grow and make the changes necessary to live your best life. Don’t ignore these feelings, USE them!
As the famous psychologist Carl Jung once said, “What you resist not only persists, but will grow in size.” What does this mean exactly? It basically means that when you ignore the obstacles that are standing in the way of your happiness, they will remain there and keep being a problem until you address them.
Once you’ve identified the problem and experienced the pain it brings, your next step needs to be to stop trying to resist it and actually tackle it. Resistance and resolution are on opposite ends of each other. Resistance will not bring about the changes you need to make in order to be happy, but resolving them will.
It’s pretty basic really. When you let things go unresolved, they grow and become harder to deal with down the line. You may even begin accepting them as truths and think that’s the way it has to be. That you’re just one of the unlucky ones who are doomed to a lifetime of unhappiness. This isn’t true at all!
Your future and your feelings are always within your control. It’s important that you remember this. No matter how hard something might be, there’s always something you can do to make it better. Even if it just means changing your mindset and attitude towards it.
Stop resisting and start taking responsibility for yourself, even if that means accepting blame and acknowledging your role in the issues you’re dealing with.
After you’ve identified, experienced, and stopped trying to resist your feelings, it’s time to have a deep inner conversation with yourself about it all. Just because the problems that you’re facing might be your responsibility doesn’t mean that everything is your fault. This next stage in where you accept that even though you had something to do with the negativity, you can see that others have also played a role.
It’s only after you accept some personal blame that you can look around and see what else went wrong. Maybe you are truly burned out on your job and want to move on, but it’s also possible that your co-workers’ lazy attitude or your boss’s extreme rudeness have been a big factor in the way you feel too. They may not have been the easiest to work with, but you also know that you’re the only one who is going to stand up for yourself and make things change.
This can be a very scary step to go through with. You have to walk a fine line between honesty and professionalism. You can decide to either find a different job or to have a reasonable and professional conversation with those affecting your work satisfaction.
Before doing either, I would suggest that you take a notebook and write down everything you’re feeling. This will help you prepare for what’s to come. Write down what your issues are, what you’ve been doing about the issue, how it makes you feel, what you wish you could do differently, and how doing things differently would benefit you.
This is similar to a pros and cons list but way more in-depth and all-encompassing. Anytime you’re about to make any big decisions, writing it all out on paper ahead of time really helps you and gives you something tangible to put your finger on when you’re confused. Make your decisions based off of the dialogue you have had with yourself.
Once you’ve expressed your feelings on paper and re-read through it until it all makes more sense, then you’ll be ready to make these important decisions. If you decide that it would benefit you to do things differently based off of how you feel and what you’ve written, you can begin the process of change. It helps to break the journey down into steps.
For example, if you chose to have a conversation with your boss then write down the steps you would need for this: ask them for a meeting via email, collect paperwork or a proposal that helps back up your position, and lastly, decide what talking points you want to use and what subjects you want to make sure are addressed. Present everything to them in a calm and professional manner.
It may feel really scary and overwhelming at first but this is why breaking it into baby-steps is really important. This goes for anything you decide to do, find a new job, learn a new skill, eat healthier, etc. You have to make a conscious decision of what you want and then make a plan on how to achieve it.
Once you’ve made it past the previous steps, you’ll need to hold onto the momentum you’ve gathered! Good things aren’t always easy and sometimes you will have to take these steps more than once for them to really sink in and for changes to be made.
Holding onto your momentum is going to keep you going when things start to get frustrating and you feel like giving up. Keep a journal that you can write in daily to keep track of your progress. Every little victory counts so don’t get discouraged when things don’t seem to be happening fast enough.
Sometimes in life it seems like for every one step forward you take, you fall back two steps. Having a journal with a collection of victories and forward steps helps remind you that however slowly it may feel, things are improving and that you just need to stay persistent.
This is the last step towards taking control of your negative feelings! If you’ve made it this far then chances are you feel a lot better and have hopefully made positive changes in your life. You took what was bringing you down and you worked towards making it better- good job!! You may think that this is it and you’re in the clear but it’s important that you remember to stay vigilant.
If you’re not careful, the negative behaviors you’ve worked so hard to get rid of can come creeping back in and before you know it, you’re right back where you started. The reason this can happen is that you’ve been set in your habits for a long time without realizing it and it’s going to take a while before your positive new habits start to become second-nature and override the negative ones.
You may have to follow these seven steps more than once before the negative habits completely disappear. By identifying, experiencing, recognizing resistance, having a conversation about it, making a conscious choice to fix the problem, keeping your momentum, and remaining vigilant you can break down these problems, stress, and feelings of anxiety.
There really is nothing you can’t overcome by following these steps.
If you can’t seem to break through negative emotions, or just don’t think you have it in you to change your mindset and attitude, let a psychic advisor guide you through it.
A talented psychic can determine what you need the most help with and lead you through your issues, whether they are work related, love related, money related, or have to do with friends and family.
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