7 Signs You Should Reevaluate Your Relationship
It’s no secret that relationships can be pretty difficult at times. A lot of work has to go into maintaining one that is healthy and satisfying. They might start out as a walk in the park where everything is perfect but the longer you’re together, the harder it is to keep it alive and fresh.
If it feels like you do a lot to keep your relationship going, know that you’re not alone. This is a normal part of merging your life with someone else’s.
However, if all you seem to be doing is working and sweating away at your relationship and no longer find joy or happiness in it, it could be time for a major change. If it brings more pain, frustration or anger than love, joy and comfort then this isn’t something you should keep wasting your precious time on.
The solution obviously varies person to person but it could mean anything from shaking things up with your current partner, to communicating more, to taking some time apart, to just deciding to be single again and getting to know yourself better.
Sometimes things feel like the end of a relationship but they’re actually not. It could be that you’ve just gotten into a rut or a routine. You still love each other and want to stay in each other’s lives but it’s just gotten old and stagnant. Love can be like a roller coaster sometimes, with great days followed by bad days.
So how do you know if this is just a phase your relationship is in or if it’s time to make a big change? The seven signs below are good indicators that something isn’t right with the relationship and some changes need to be made.
You know that feeling you get in your stomach when something just isn’t right? Low-frequency feelings like fear and anger can start out deep inside your body before they’re obvious in your mind. They’re usually a really good sign that something isn’t how it should be.
Your relationship should bring about feelings of peace, contentment, security, and happiness. If instead you feel sadness, anxiety, fear or even boredom then something needs to change because you’re just doing more harm than good to yourself at that point.
When your relationship starts to change for the worst, you usually know it deep inside. You might feel antsy thinking about going home to them, or be hesitant to spend your free weekend with them, or even stop looking forward to hearing from them.
It’s common to try to ignore these feelings and tell yourself that everything’s fine and that you’re just being difficult. You might try to force yourself to be happy and keep going on with the relationship.
This could be because you’re afraid of change and just can’t imagine things being different. You might be worried about how things will change with the children, the house, the bills, etc.
Because of this, you stay with what’s comfortable and familiar but you can’t hide the feelings of doubt and anxiety from your body. It will let you know one way or another that you should reconsider what you’re doing.
As I mentioned earlier, every good relationship takes a lot of work and commitment. However, the work that it takes to maintain a healthy relationship is different than the work it takes to keep a bad relationship going.
The first one is a lot easier and usually doesn’t even feel like work when you’re in a solid relationship. The “work” that has to be done in a healthy relationship are usually things you don’t mind doing.
You might even WANT to do them because you know it will make the relationship stronger. Things like compromising on issues, helping your partner, and going the extra mile for them aren’t things that you should hate doing.
The second kind of work is going to feel taxing and never-ending. It feels like too much effort with not enough pay off. It makes you question everything you’re doing is worth it or not.
It causes resentment towards your partner and resentment is a disease for relationships. Once you have it, you need to either act quickly to get rid of it or it’s going to ruin any love that might still be there.
If you find yourself using up valuable energy on the second kind of work, that’s a big sign that you need to reevaluate your romantic situation. This is especially true when only one of you is putting in all the effort. If something isn’t right, both of you need to decide to fix it and act accordingly.
Sometimes relationships change for the worst and it really is too much work to keep them going. Maybe you found out your partner cheated and you thought you could work past it but you find that you just can’t. That’s okay. It could be that it’s just time to move on to the next stage of your life.
Just like resentment, boredom can also kill a relationship. Sometimes they go hand-in-hand because once you’re bored out of your mind in your relationship, it doesn’t take long for you to begin resenting your partner.
You might subconsciously blame them for letting it get to that point, feeling like they don’t care if you’re happy or not. That isn’t fair however because relationships are a two-person game.
Don’t expect your partner to be a mind reader and plan special things for you or surprise you with romantic gifts. Let them know that these things are important to you and that you would really appreciate going on a date that weekend or being treated to a nice meal.
The longer you’re in a relationship, the easier it is to fall into a routine and routines are usually pretty boring. You feel like you know everything there is to know about each other and you do the same things every day.
Wake up, get the kids ready, get yourself ready, go to work, come home, get dinner ready, watch TV. This can mentally wear a person out over time.
While there’s nothing wrong with having a routine- it can actually be a really good thing- you need to make sure to shake things up a bit every now and then. This goes for both you and your partner. You each need to make more of an effort to break free from the same ol’ same ol’ every day.
Let your partner know that you’d love for them to get the kids ready in the morning or to make dinner that night. Get a babysitter and go out to the movies every so often. Buy tickets to a concert or comedy show and experience new things together.
If you communicate your needs to your partner and they still aren’t making more of an effort to change it up or act bored with the things you planned, this is a good time to start reconsidering your relationship.
Once boredom has set in it’s easy for things to start going downhill. You or your partner might stray or want to spend more time with other people. You might begin imagining your life without them and start feeling like you’re better off without them.
Trust me, boredom is not something you want to ignore. Our time on this planet is limited and you deserve to live it to the fullest.
You would be a literal angel if you never snapped at your partner or fought with them. Sure, there are some people out there that never get mad or get grumpy but they’re few and far between. For the rest of us, it’s perfectly normal to have days where we’re just in a bad mood and feel especially mad that day.
What’s not normal in a healthy relationship is being like this more often than not. If this seems to be your default mode when you’re near your partner then something definitely needs to change. Things can only get worse for the both of you from that point.
You might also want to take a deep look within yourself if it feels like everything your partner does annoys you or you find yourself constantly nagging. It could actually be that you’re going through a hard time and it has nothing to do with them.
This is especially true if they haven’t changed or gotten worse as a person. It could be a personal problem and you let out all those negative feelings onto them.
Your change in attitude and snappiness may be caused by outside factors, such as work stress, family problems, health issues, financial matters, etc.
Ease some of the tension and stress by carving some time out for a massage, hot yoga class, or a meditation session. No one should have to pay for your problems and issues. If you can’t seem to point a finger at what it is that’s causing you to feel so uneasy, consider getting a reading from a genuine psychic advisor for some answers.
However, sometimes it has nothing to do with you and it really is your partner that brings out those feelings in you. You need to pinpoint what it is that annoys or angers you the most and have a calm, civil conversation with them about it. They may not even realize what they’re doing.
If they can’t seem to change or don’t want to, you shouldn’t force them. You may be better off just going your separate ways if they make you that unhappy. It’s okay to have deal-breakers, you’re only human and everyone has their limits.
Staying in the relationship and trying to shove away your feelings is bad for you mentally and physically. Sometimes people just change and you can no longer find happiness together.
Relationships are made up of two people and require work and effort from both of them. If you’re the only one who always makes the first move or starts conversations and interactions with them then the relationship is unbalanced.
You shouldn’t always be the first one to send them sweet texts, set up dates, or call them to chat. Your partner needs to do these things as well because that’s how you invest in the relationship. This is how you show each other that you’re thinking about each other and enjoy being together.
A relationship can also be unbalanced if your partner is always too busy or too tired to see you. I understand life can get in the way sometimes but always making excuses to do things with you aren’t a good sign.
In a healthy relationship, both people are able to compromise. For example, he goes to your friend’s dinner party with you even though he doesn’t know them too well, and you go to a car show with him even though you’re not that interested in cars.
You shouldn’t only be seeking each other out for sex if you’re trying to have a solid relationship. If you just hear from them when they want to sleep with you then this is just a casual hookup type situation. If you’re not happy with that, you need to let them know or move on.
Just like some relationships fail because not enough attention is given, they can also fail if there is too much attention. You should feel happy and at ease with your partner but if they’re constantly calling or texting you, it’s easy to begin feeling annoyed instead.
You shouldn’t feel suffocated or smothered by your partner. This is a quick way to make you lose interest. It’s sweet that they are always thinking about you and can’t get enough of you but they also need to respect your personal time and let you breath. You should be doing things outside of the relationship with loved ones that don’t involve each other.
One of the worst things people do when they get in a new relationship is completely leave behind all their other friends, hobbies and interests. I know you need to spend time with your new partner but you also still need to keep your identity and not get lost in theirs.
Having a life outside of the relationship is a good way to make sure you don’t feel closed in and suffocated. Your partner should never make you feel bad or guilty for wanting to do something without them. If they do, this is a major red flag that they are insecure or even controlling and you need to have a conversation with them or reexamine your relationship.
Unless you’re choosing to remain abstinent until marriage, sex is important in healthy relationships. Being intimate with each other makes you feel closer and builds a strong bond between two people. It should be pleasant and stress-free.
It shouldn’t be uncomfortable, anxiety-inducing, or boring all the time. If you do the same things over and over again every time, you may start to lose interest in it. If you’re both okay with a decrease in the bedroom then there’s absolutely nothing to worry about.
However, most of the time one or both of you will not be very happy about the lack of intimacy. It’s easy to feel like your partner no longer loves you, they find you unattractive, or are interested in someone else if you’re acting more like friends or roommates than partners in life.
This loss of intimacy can happen for several reasons but two of the most common ones are:
- You’ve gotten bored of the same routine and aren’t physically excited by them anymore, or
- You’re no longer happy with the relationship but you stay in it because you don’t want to disrupt your life
If it’s the first one then you need to talk to your partner about finding new ways to make it more interesting and exciting. Brainstorm together about things you’d like to try and be very clear about things that you aren’t comfortable doing. Experiment together and have fun! There are plenty of ways to spice things up, you just have to put in the work.
If the lack of intimacy is for the second reason, this is something you need to think more deeply about. Maybe you don’t even realize that you’re over the relationship but your subconscious does know. In this case your body is trying to communicate this to you by making your partner unappealing sexually. As I’ve said before, you can’t fool your body; it’s best to work with it and not against it.
If you’re not sure whether you still love your partner and want to continue being with them, consider talking to a love psychic. They can guide you into looking deep within yourself and seeing what the best course of action is for you. Their insight and sixth sense can point you in the right direction.
There really is no wrong or right when it comes to relationships. Each one is unique and not everything works for all of them. These are just a few of the biggest signs that you need to reevaluate or end your relationship.
This is your life and you need to focus on your happiness. Don’t feel pressured by friends or family to stay in a relationship that no longer brings you joy. As I mentioned before, there will be days when you’re not happy with your partner but they should be temporary.
If you find yourself permanently in that state, please do whatever it takes to get back to your happiness. Whether that means talking it out with your partner or rediscovering yourself and being single for a while, it’s up to you but let these signs guide you.