When you’re comfortable in a relationship, it’s easy to assume there are no problems and that everything is okay, even if that’s not the case. Having your partner hit you with the news that they’re no longer happy with you when you were under the impression that your relationship was going great can be such a devastating blow. A relationship takes a lot of work to keep it alive and thriving.
Not only is basic maintenance constantly required, but so is going above and beyond the day-to-day routine you may have gotten used to. Sometimes just telling your partner that you love them is not enough, you have to actually SHOW them that you love them. This can be accomplished in the form of doing things for them that you know they’ll appreciate.
Things such as giving them a back massage after a long day at work, or setting up a game night for them and their friends.
It’s a good idea to breath some fresh air into your relationship every now and then so that it can survive the long road ahead. If you think your relationship can use some inspiration and excitement, here are eight ways to revive it:
1. Let Go Of Resentments And Grudges
It’s incredible how much even the tiniest of grudges can damage your relationship. If your partner hurt you intentionally or unintentionally in the past and you’ve forgiven them, then it’s time you make peace with it and move on from it once and for all. There’s no point in telling them that you forgive them for what they did if you’re going to keep holding it against them.
Stewing over it is only going to drive a wedge between the two of you so it’s important that you get any resentment you hold against them off of your chest as soon as possible.
Communicate your feelings to them calmly and honestly, explain to them in full detail how and why that hurt you so much, give them the opportunity to explain themselves to you, and if you can come to understand each other and move forward then you need to work together to resolve the issue and get closure from it.
Once you’ve done this, you need to stop bringing it up. If it’s not something you feel you can forgive them for, then you need to seriously consider going your separate ways. Letting go of grudges and resentments is the first step to being able to reinvent your relationship, otherwise they will always be in the way and keep you from moving forward together.
2. Appreciate Them For Who They Are And Acknowledge Their Good Qualities
In a long-term relationship, it’s easy to get in a routine where all you see about your partner is the bad things about them. The things that get on your nerves and that you would like them to change. However, if you’re committed to your relationship and do truly love your partner, you need to stop focusing on the things you don’t like about them and start noticing the things that they do that you love and that they’re good at.
Start appreciating and celebrating the things that made you fall in love with them in the first place and that make them special and unique. Just like you want to be loved wholeheartedly and without limits, so does your partner.
Remind your partner that they are loved just as they are and that you still find them attractive and desirable after all these years. Let them know all the things that you love about them, and acknowledge them when they’re doing something that makes you happy.
Show more gratitude for them by telling them thank you when they help you with something. More than likely, pointing out their positive actions will drive them to do them more often because they know how much you like and appreciate it. Never stop looking on the bright side of things.
3. Take Turns Giving Each Other A Makeover
This is a lighthearted and fun way to keep the spark alive in your relationship, while at the same time communicating your likes and dislikes to each other. This doesn’t mean going out and spending loads of money on a totally new look for each other, despite what it sounds like.
What I mean by this is to find something positive that you like about your partner and highlight it. For example, if your partner has a pair of pants that flatters them in all the right places and that you love seeing them in, get them a couple more pairs in different colors. Or if your partner loves your soft complexion, they can treat you to a pampering spa day that makes your skin glow even more.
This isn’t the place for criticism though, remember to keep it upbeat and positive. If there is something about them that you wish they would change, you can mention it to them but don’t be rude about it. You need to remember that, yourself included, nobody is perfect.
Instead of telling them “those old shoes make you look like such a slob”, you can say something like “I don’t think those shoes do you justice. I think you would look so much hotter in some nicer shoes” and go out on a shopping date. Let them pick out things for you that they’d like to see you wearing as well.
Don’t automatically shut down their suggestions even if it doesn’t seem like something you could see yourself in. Give it a shot! Take it to the fitting room and check it out- you might be surprised at how flattering it actually is on you. It’s important that you keep growing and evolving, and style is one part of that process. Don’t get stuck in a certain look that ages you or fails to highlight your beauty.
4. Fight Fair And Make Conflict Rules
Even if you do your best to only focus on the great things about your partner, appreciate them for who they are, and show them gratitude whenever possible, it doesn’t change the fact that at some point or another, you two are going to get into a fight or an argument. Disagreeing and miscommunication are a fact of life that probably won’t change anytime soon.
The important thing is that when a fight or argument does happen, you fight in a fair and civilized manner. This is possible by creating and defining “conflict rules”. People have different ways of expressing their concerns and this is usually where things go from a simple misunderstanding to a full-blown fight.
For example, you might be the type who needs to say what you feel and confront them about how mad they’ve made you immediately, as opposed to chilling out a bit, but your partner could be the type that cannot handle listening to you while you’re in this angry state, and instead chooses to disengage from the conversation or even leaves the room.
Fighting is not a death sentence for a relationship- in fact, it can actually help improve it because you get to say how you feel about things. However, it can only improve the relationship when you and your partner work together and fight in a fair manner, otherwise, it can cause serious damage.
Take some time to sit down together when things are going well and you’re not fighting about anything to define and outline some conflict rules for your relationship.
Examples of good conflict rules are: deciding that no matter what, you will let it get violent or physical, you will refrain from name-calling, you will respect each other, you will give each other equal amounts of time to say how you feel, you will stick to the subject at hand, you will be completely honest with each other, etc. etc.
5. Make The Relationship Fun And Playful
Any relationship that has surpassed the tests of time has probably already figured out how important having fun is in your relationship. Why would you want to stay in a relationship that just isn’t fun, right??
“Adulting” isn’t always fun, and it can be downright HARD at times, but being able to turn even the most dull and boring tasks into a good time is key to a long-lasting relationship.
We all need something that makes us laugh and gets our mind off of the more serious things. Make up silly songs while you’re folding laundry together, or turn on some music next time you’re cooking together and ask them to dance a song with you! It’s little things like this that add up in the long run and keep the relationship fun and exciting.
6. Always Learn New Things About Each Other
No matter how long you and your partner have been together, chances are, there are still a lot of things you don’t know about them.
What’s their favorite show they’re watching right now? Who’s their favorite football player this season? What’s their favorite dinner that you cook for them?
Just like your interests are constantly changing, so are theirs. Thinking about and finding out their newest interests and preferences is a great way to breath some fresh air into your relationship.
You may learn new and exciting things about them that you had no idea about before. This can add an element of surprise and make you appreciate different things about them.
Assuming your partner is boring and that you know everything about them isn’t doing your relationship any justice. Give them a change to show you just how diversified they can actually be!
7. Try New Things Together On A Regular Basis
Is there something you’ve always wanted to try with your partner but never got around to doing? Have you both mentioned doing an activity but never seem to make it happen? If nothing comes to mind, sit down with your partner and ask them for some ideas of things they would like to do. If neither one of you can think of something, search the internet for couple activities and make a list of the ones that interest the both of you.
Once you’ve got a list going, pick something from it and go out and try it. If it turns out to be something that neither of you enjoyed, at least you know you tried. If it’s something you both had an absolute blast doing, make a deal to do it at least once a month or once every few months.
This can be as simple as going camping together, taking one of those fun nighttime painting courses, or trying a new kind of restaurant.
This will not only awaken your senses and add a new element of fun to your relationship, but sticking to a ritual or commitment will strengthen your bond and show you that you can rely on one another when you say you will do something and you actually do it.
8. Reintroduce An Activity You Used To Enjoy Together
If creating a new ritual seems too time consuming or if there’s nothing available in your town, you could always bring back an old activity that you used to do together but stopped doing for whatever reason.
Did you used to have a favorite pastime that you loved doing together? What made you stop participating in it? Do you think it would be fun if you started doing it again?
Maybe the both of you used to enjoy playing frisbee golf on nice days, or waking up early on Sunday mornings and watching the sun rise over the lake. Surprise your partner by planning a day when you do this activity again. Re-light that spark of when your love was new and exciting and see how they react. The nostalgia of such a simple act can cause you to fall in love all over again.
Each and every one of us deserves the wonderful feeling of being in love. It is an experience unlike any other in this world and there’s someone out there for everyone. It doesn’t matter if you’re on the search for your soul mate, already in a relationship and wondering if they’re the one for you, or if you’re curious on how to keep the romance alive- a love psychic can help you with these and many other concerns or questions you might have regarding your love life.
You may not even know it, but a psychic love reading might be just the thing that you need in your life right now to make it the best it can possibly be. Find a genuine and talented love psychic or learn more about what to expect during a psychic reading to make the most of your consult.