If you’ve ever had to experience the death of a spouse or partner then you know all too well how devastating it can be. You might feel like you’ll never be able to recover from the loss or experience happiness ever again. However hard it may be to believe at the moment, you should know that future love and happiness is possible for you yet again.
You’ll always have them in your heart but it doesn’t mean that you can’t love someone else who would make a great partner for you. I can assure you that your loved one does not want you to grieve them for the rest of your life and push any potential love away.
They loved you in life and even in death they would nothing more than for you to be happy again. They know that you deserve to be treated lovingly and unconditionally.
If you’ve gone through the grieving and healing process and decide that you’d like to be in a romantic relationship again, don’t fight the feeling or feel guilty about your choice. I would however suggest that you do not jump straight into a relationship after the recent death of a partner. Grieving is a long and difficult process but it’s critical that you go through it so that you may be able to fully receive love again.
Getting involved in a romantic relationship with another person before you’ve grieved or in the midst of it all is going to rob you of your opportunity to recover from it in the healthiest way possible and forge forward with your new life.
Once you can tell that the time is right for you to reopen your heart and you’re ready to move forward, follow these tips to make the process as easy as possible.
Give Yourself Time to Become Whole Again
After the death of a partner, it can take a really long time to feel whole again. The amount of time varies from person to person and depends on the dynamic of the relationship. There is no set amount of time in which this needs to be done.
For some, it might take years, for others it can take decades and it can even take a lifetime for certain people. This is absolutely normal and there is no need to rush the grieving and healing process. It’s important that you take all the time in the world to feel your feelings, your sadness, your heartache. Don’t be ashamed of these feelings and definitely don’t try to ignore them.
You need to get past this point before even considering dating someone else. If you aren’t patient with yourself and force yourself to move on before you’re truly ready, you might find yourself helplessly searching for someone who can replace what you’re missing.
You won’t be open or accepting of a completely different person and you’ll be putting a lot of expectation and pressure on whoever you try to date. You shouldn’t expect this new person to complete you and make you whole again, that is something you have to do first and foremost on your own.
Once you have given yourself time to grieve and have worked to mend your broken heart, then and only then can you re-enter the dating world. While you’re dating, it’s important that you approach the scene as a complete and whole person and look for another whole and complete person. Two healthy wholes are always going to be a stronger and happier match than two broken halves will be.
Getting back to yourself and becoming whole again after a devastating loss is a different process for everyone. What works for one person may not work for another. Since this is one of the most critical parts of allowing yourself to date again, my advice would be to get a personalized plan from a professional psychic. They can help you discover what methods you would respond to best and guide you through the steps during a consultation.
It’s a multifaceted approach that can be hard to do by yourself. All of the psychics on my reviews page have years of experience and knowledge when it comes to guiding people out of the dark and into the light towards their new future.
Create A Personal Support System
I think we can all agree that dating and finding true love in this day and age can be somewhat difficult. It’s not something that’s going to happen overnight and it also probably won’t be with the very first person you meet after your loss. You need to be prepared to date all over again and go through some trial and error. It may feel tedious, frustrating and even downright aggravating at times but it will all be worth it when you find that special someone again.
While you’re dating, it’s important that you have a strong support system around you. This can be close friends, family members, or even co-workers who you know extremely well. It needs to be made up of people who can be there for you when you need them the most. Like I said, dating can be frustrating and you’re going to need somebody you can vent to, cry to, and bounce ideas off of.
I think it goes without saying but the people in your support system needs to be on board with your decision to date again. You can’t expect someone who feels like you should be alone the rest of your life to be very helpful when it comes to dating matters. If they love you, they’ll understand your need to find love again.
These people also need to know you very well so that they can fully understand your wants and needs. It’s easy to see everyone through rose-colored glasses when you first start dating and your support system needs to be able to tell you when they see red flags or warning signs that you might have missed.
They won’t let you settle for the first person that comes around if they’re not right for you. They should also be able to let you know when they feel like someone isn’t treating you the way you deserve to be treated. You trust the people in your support system for a reason so hear them out when they have strong feelings one way or another about someone.
You may find that it’s more difficult than you thought to find a group of close-knit people for your support system. Maybe everyone you know is against you dating or they feel a special loyalty to the deceased that makes them feel guilty about “allowing” you to move on.
This is especially true if they were your partner’s friends or family first before you entered their life. That’s perfectly okay and you should never force someone to let go of their beliefs. You know what’s best for you and you don’t have to convince anyone else of it.
In cases like this, a counselor or gifted psychic is an excellent person to turn to. They will get to know you, your wants and needs, and listen to you without judgement. They will be able to tell you what they think is best for you and you can use their advice as a good starting point.
Don’t Try To Recreate Your Previous Relationship
I know change can be difficult but it’s important that you resist the urge to try and recreate what you had with your late partner. Even if you found a great person to move forward with and love again, your new relationship is probably not going to be exactly like your first one.
Don’t try to force it into being identical. Embrace the change and the new connection. Don’t hang your hopes and expectations on it being the exact same. Accept it as a whole different experience and appreciate it for what it is.
Don’t expect them to like the same music, same movies, same foods, same hobbies, etc. Let them be themselves and enjoy the process of getting to know someone unique.
Try not to do the same things you always did with your partner or eat at all the same places. Experiment with new activities, new flavors, new sounds and make special memories with potential partners. Don’t ask them to style their hair or dress like your late partner. Be open to different looks and styles.
Trying to make your new date play the role of your late partner is not fair for either of you and you owe it to yourself to step out of your comfort zone. That is the only way you can grow and evolve. If you truly cannot imagine being with anyone that isn’t identical to your partner than it could be that you haven’t grieved enough or you just aren’t attracted to anyone but them.
There’s nothing wrong with that, some people do choose to remain widows for the rest of their lives and just focus on themselves. They still have very fulfilling lives and don’t feel like they’re missing out on anything. It works great for them but if that’s not the case with you then you’re going to have to embrace the changes that are to come.
Give Yourself Permission To Compare
While it’s true that you shouldn’t expect new dates to be just like your late partner, it’s inevitable that you’re going to compare the two in your mind. This is a normal response and you shouldn’t beat yourself up over it. It’s only natural since you spent so much time with your lost loved one and got to know every little thing about them.
Being faced with someone new and learning their habits takes some time. Allow these thoughts to be in your mind, sit with them, process them, and learn to accept them. In time you’ll see that you do it less and less as you get to know your new partner more.
Just because you have these thoughts in your mind does not mean that you should express them to your new love interest though. Doing so is only going to make them feel like you wish they were them and that they aren’t good enough for you. It’s hard for people who haven’t experienced the loss of a spouse to understand the feelings that come with it.
If you absolutely need to express these thoughts to someone other than yourself, reach out to that support system or an online psychic to share them and get them off your chest.
Don’t dwell on the comparisons and don’t be upset that they exist. Just acknowledge that they’re there and remember to be open to new experiences. If it all seems like too much to take and you find yourself comparing them to your late partner excessively then you may need to take a step back and stop dating for a while.
Some comparing is normal but doing nothing but comparing can harm the relationship before it’s even had a chance to start.
Work Past Feelings of Guilt
If you feel guilty about having thoughts and feelings for someone new after losing your spouse, know that you’re not alone. It’s extremely common to feel like you’re “cheating” on them, “forgetting” them, or “replacing” them but none of this is true.
As I mentioned before, your late lover would not want you to live out the rest of your days alone. They loved you because of how you brought happiness into their life, how you cared deeply about them, how you faced the world and they would not want you to lose those parts of yourself. They would want you to keep your beautiful spirit and use it to light up someone else’s world.
Know that you gave them your love until the end and that you did right by them. You deserve to love and be loved again. Let go of any guilt that you might have and allow yourself to open up to love again after you’ve grieved and worked towards healing.
Journaling, meditating, or speaking to a psychic medium are all ways to process your guilt and work through these complicated emotions. Talented mediums are able to relay messages from the spirits of those who have passed if the time is right and the deceased is ready. This can help you realize once and for all that they aren’t upset that you want to love and be loved again.
Rediscover and Redefine Yourself
In long-term relationships, people tend to blend their lives together around shared interests and hobbies. These interests and activities may be so ingrained in you at this point that you don’t know what else to do after the death of a spouse. You may feel lost without your nightly show watching or your weekly game nights.
This is normal but in order for you to move forward and continue living your life after the loss, you need to create new activities that make you happy. Create your own new rituals instead of relying on those that you’ve been doing for so long out of habit.
Learn new skills, pick up new hobbies, become more socially active. These are all things that will push you forwards into the next stage of your life. When you’re living a happy, vibrant life, you’re more likely to attract others who are also making the most out of life.
You’ll improve the chances of meeting that person who you can have a healthy and loving relationship with once again. It’s true what they say about how your vibe attracts your tribe.
You owe it to yourself and your late partner to rediscover yourself and find joy in life once again. Find what makes you happy and do it to the fullest. Moving on with a new relationship doesn’t mean that the love you had with your late partner was never there. It doesn’t mean that you’ve forgotten about them or that you no longer care about them.
You can love and care for someone who is no longer with you and for someone who is wanting to be a part of your remaining life. It’s not cheating or abandoning what you used to have. It’s taking that love that you had together and using it to propel you into the next stage of your journey.
The process of learning to love again is different for everyone but they all have these basic things in common. Allow yourself to feel any feelings that come up, process them, and listen to your intuition throughout your dating journey.
It’s not easy, but it IS worth it. Lean on your support system and talk to a psychic reader anytime you feel lost, confused, conflicted or guilty. You don’t have to go this alone.