For a lot of people, dating in this day and age isn’t easy. Sometimes people get in such a hurry to meet someone- ANYONE- and be in a relationship that they compromise who they really are and what they truly want from a partner. It’s easy to fake it and pretend to be someone you’re not to impress someone, but you need to be honest from the get-go if you want a healthy and lasting relationship.
You can make many mistakes and errors when dating that can wreak havoc on a relationship in no time. These are known as the seven deadly dating sins. If you have to do any of these in hopes of getting or keeping a relationship, you should step back, give yourself some time, look within yourself, and ask yourself or a love psychic if this is the right relationship for you. Here are the seven original sins as they apply to the dating scene:
Lust- Sleeping Together Too Soon
Sex is essential to a relationship, but that doesn’t mean you must rush into it as soon as possible. On the contrary, sleeping with a new partner too soon can hurt your chances of true intimacy with them. You’re replacing love, honesty, emotions, and feelings with lust. If the person is right for you, they won’t demand you sleep with them after just a few dates. Sure, they may want to, and if you allow them to, they probably won’t say no, but they should never pressure you or guilt you into it.
They should be more interested in your thoughts, fears, and emotions. They’ll know it’ll happen when the time is right and won’t try to push it to happen sooner. You also don’t want to have sex with someone you’re genuinely interested in too fast because you risk losing them, as weird as that sounds. Men are wired to chase things and want to feel like they worked hard to get what they have.
If you give away what they want within a short time without them having to work for it, you run the risk of them losing interest in it and you altogether. Like most things, the harder you work for something, the more you appreciate and value it. Avoid this deadly dating sin by taking it slow and putting sex on the back burner for a while. Focus on each other’s brains and feelings first. There will be plenty of time for sex later.
Pride- Seeking Perfection In Your Relationship
There’s nothing wrong with having pride or feeling prideful in your life. However, too much of it can hurt you in relationships and dating; it can make you seek perfection from yourself or your partner, which isn’t possible. Pride can drive you to seek this perfection no matter what, and you may think it’s your job to “fix” or change this person into your ideal image.
You might think you can morph them into everything you’ve ever wanted, but this isn’t healthy. If you can’t accept someone the way they are, they probably aren’t the person for you. You need to have a deep, heartfelt look inside yourself and decide whether you can deal with this person the way they are or if you’ll always wish they were different. The problem may be actually with you and not with them at all.
If you’re demanding perfection, chances are you’re probably too picky. Maybe you can’t deal with how they do certain things, or the things they choose to spend their free time on, the clothes they wear, or the music they like to listen to. Decide whether these are good enough reasons to throw away a potentially great relationship.
If they are, do both of you a favor and let them move on to find someone who isn’t annoyed by those things. Doing this will allow you to continue searching for a partner whose quirks won’t drive you crazy. Keep in mind, however, that nobody is perfect, and if you want to be in a relationship, you will have to compromise on some things and stop expecting the impossible.
Greed- Expecting Or Demanding Too Much From Your Partner
Another deadly dating sin is being too greedy in a relationship initially and throughout its course. If you start expecting too much too soon, you’ll be sorely disappointed when those expectations aren’t met, which isn’t fair to either of you. The early stages of a relationship should be all about getting to know each other. It would be best if you shared many important things with each other, such as your hobbies, likes/dislikes, plans for the future, dreams, childhoods, etc.
Don’t expect them to shower you with gifts, expensive dinners, trips, jewelry, and flowers. Sure, these are nice gestures, and it’s okay to enjoy them now and then, but don’t demand or expect them. Money doesn’t equal love; the best things your partner can give you are free. Just be there for each other and enjoy being in each other’s company.
Gluttony- Overindulging On Your Relationship
It’s easy to obsess over your partner and want to see them ALL THE TIME at the start of a new relationship. You want to be with them 24/7; if you’re not, you feel lonely and bored and miss them like crazy. These feelings are perfectly normal, but you must ensure you’re not moving too fast and smothering them. You need to give each other space and boundaries.
If you begin to smother them and become clingy, it can be a turn-off for them, and you may find them rejecting you as time goes on. You also risk neglecting your family, friends, work, and even yourself if you’re not careful. It’s possible to have too much of a good thing, and you could be mentally overdosing on this person. You must keep a healthy balance in your life.
Romance and relationships are just one part of who you are; there’s still so much more to you than the state of your love life. You still need to take care of yourself and your health, your friends that have been there for you, your family that loves you unconditionally, and your job that relies on you. Give each other some space and be patient; you’ll benefit from the time spent apart. After all, distance makes the heart grow fonder!
Wrath- Blaming Your New Partner For Things Your Exes Did
Bringing up your past relationships with your new one is a surefire way to make things ugly. You should never expect or assume that your new partner will be like your previous ones, and there’s no point in dating new people if you treat them like they’re your ex.
This is a major no-no, and you must avoid it at all costs! Real love can only thrive if you start the relationship with a blank slate and nurture it uniquely. If you can’t leave baggage from past relationships behind, perhaps you aren’t ready yet to be in a relationship. Take some alone time to reflect on and address the issue.
Envy- Comparing Your Relationship To Others’
Just like you should never give your past relationships a place in your new one, you should also not allow your new partner to compare you to their exes. They should never tell you how to change so that you can be more like someone they used to date or so that you can be more like a couple they know. Neither of you should try to change the other into something you are not.
You don’t need to be together if you can’t accept each other as you are. Never compare your relationship to other couples who seem to have it all figured out. People are good at showing specific images they want to portray and hiding the ugly, messy parts of their relationship. They may look like the perfect dream couple but trust me- it’s rare for a couple to be perfect and not have any issues.
Don’t stress yourself trying to be more like anyone else, and don’t put that kind of pressure on your partner. Focus on YOUR relationship and your relationship only. You don’t need to concern yourself with what other people are doing or how they live.
Sloth- Getting Too Lazy And Negligent
One of the most fantastic feelings of being in a secure, long-term relationship is feeling comfortable around each other. It feels great to be who you are around them without having to hide or worry about things. However, you must be careful not to get so comfortable that you become lazy. There’s a line between comfort and laziness, which you should be aware of.
Don’t become negligent in your relationship or appearance. Constantly putting work into the relationship is essential to keep it fresh and fun. Don’t skip out on date nights or put your nice clothes and jewelry in storage! Find reasons to dress up for each other and dedicate a night to just the two of you now and then. Always make time for each other. Make it a point to try new things in and out of the bedroom.
Never Settle For Less Than What You Truly Desire
Love is amazing and can be very fulfilling if you know yourself and what you need and want. Conversely, there’s almost no worse feeling than being in an unhealthy and unsatisfying relationship. This can happen if you jump in too soon or don’t know what you need or want from the relationship. Know that you’re not alone if you feel uncertain about your love life! You don’t have to keep wondering and second-guessing yourself, hoping you’ll figure it out soon.
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