For a lot of people, dating in this day and age is not easy. Sometimes people get in such a hurry to just meet someone- ANYONE- and be in a relationship that they compromise who they really are and what they really want from a partner.
It’s easy to fake it and pretend to be someone you’re not in an effort to impress someone but you need to be honest from the get-go if you want a healthy and lasting relationship.
There are so many mistakes and errors you can make when dating that can really wreak havoc on a relationship in no time. These are known as the seven deadly dating sins.
If you have to do any of these in hopes of getting or keeping a relationship then you should really step back, give yourself some time, look within yourself, and ask yourself or a love psychic if this is the right relationship for you.
Here are the seven original sins as they apply to dating:
It’s true that sex is an important part of a relationship but that doesn’t mean you need to rush into it as soon as possible. In fact, sleeping with a new partner too soon can actually hurt your chances of having true intimacy with them. This is because you’re replacing love, honesty, emotions and feelings with pure lust.
If the person is right for you, they will not demand that you sleep with them after just a few dates. Sure, they may want to, and if you allow them to they probably won’t say no, but they should never pressure you or guilt you into it.
They should be more interested in you as a person and in your thoughts, fears, and overall emotions. They’ll know that it’ll happen when the time is right and won’t try to push it to happen sooner.
You also don’t want to have sex with someone you’re truly interested in too fast because then you risk losing them, as weird as that sounds. Men are wired to want to chase things. They want to feel like they worked hard to get what they have.
If you give away what they want within a short period of time without them having to work for it, you run the risk of them losing interest in it and in you all together.
Just like with most things in life, the harder you work for something, the more you appreciate and value it once you’ve earned it. Avoid this deadly dating sin by taking it slow and putting sex on the back burner for a while. Focus on each other’s brains and feelings first. There will be plenty of time for sex later.
There’s nothing wrong with having pride or feeling prideful in your life. However, when it comes to relationships and dating, too much of it can hurt you. It can make you seek perfection from yourself or from your partner and perfection just isn’t possible.
Pride can drive you to seek this perfection no matter what and you may think that it’s your job to “fix” or change this person into your ideal image. You might think that you can morph them into being everything you’ve ever wanted but this isn’t healthy. If you can’t accept someone the way they are, they probably aren’t the person for you.
Even if they tell you they want to change or it’s ok for you to try and change them, the truth is, changing someone is a lot of work and it’s really not natural. For the most part, people are how they are and old habits die hard.
You need to have a deep, heartfelt look inside of yourself and decide whether you can deal with this person the way they are of if you’ll always wish they were different.
It’s possible that the problem is actually with you and not with them at all. If you’re demanding perfection then chances are you’re probably being way too picky.
If you can’t deal with the way they do certain things, or the things they choose to spend their free time on, the clothes they choose to wear, or the music they like to listen to, you need to decide whether these are good enough reasons to throw away a potentially great relationship.
It’s fine if those things that annoy you are deal breakers- what’s not ok is trying to force them to change or deciding to stay in the relationship but always giving them a hard time about it.
Do both of you a favor and let them move on to find someone who isn’t annoyed by those things. This will also allow you to continue on your search for a partner whose quirks won’t drive you crazy.
Keep in mind however that nobody is perfect and if you want to be in a relationship, you’re going to have to compromise on some things and stop expecting the impossible.
Another harmful dating sin is being too greedy in a relationship, both in the beginning and throughout it’s course. If you start expecting too much too soon, you’ll be sorely disappointed when those expectations aren’t met and this isn’t fair to either of you.
The early stages of a relationship should be all about getting to know each other. You should be sharing so many important things with each other, such as your hobbies, your likes/dislikes, your plans for the future, your dreams, what your childhood was like, etc.
Don’t expect them to shower you with gifts, take you on countless dinners and trips, spoil you with jewelry and flowers.
Sure, these are nice gestures and it’s okay to enjoy them every now and then but don’t demand or expect them. Money does not equal love and the best things your partner can give you are free. Just be there for each other and just enjoy being in each other’s company.
It’s so easy to obsess over your partner and have the urge to see them ALL THE TIME during the start of a new relationship. You want to be with them 24/7 and if you’re not, you feel lonely, bored and just miss them like crazy.
This is perfectly normal, but you still need to make sure that you’re not moving too fast and smothering them. You need to give each other space and boundaries.
If you begin to smother them and become clingy, it can become a turn-off for them and you may find them rejecting you as time goes on. You also run the risk of neglecting your family, friends, work and even yourself if you’re not careful.
As you may know, it IS possible to have too much of a good thing and you could be overdosing on this person.
It’s important that you keep a healthy balance in your life. Romance and relationships are just one part of who you are. There is still so much more to you than the state of your love life.
You still need take care of yourself and your health, your friends that have been there for you, your family that loves you unconditionally, and your job that relies on you.
Give each other some space and be patient, you’ll both benefit from the time spent apart. After all, distance makes the heart grow fonder!
Bringing up your past relationships with your new one is a surefire way to make things get ugly. You should never expect or assume that your new partner will be like your previous ones. There’s really no point in even dating new people if you’re just going to treat them like they’re your ex.
This is a major no-no and needs to be avoided at all costs! Real love can only thrive if you start the relationship on a blank slate and nurture it in its own unique way.
Envy- Don’t Compare Your Relationship To Others’
Just like you should never give your past relationships a place in your new one, you should also not allow your new partner to compare you to their exes.
They should never tell you how to change so that you can be more like someone they used to date or so that you can be more like a couple they know. Neither one of you should be trying to change each other into something you are not.
If you can’t accept each other as you are then you really don’t need to be together. Never, ever compare your relationship to that of other couples who seem to have it all figured out.
People can be really good at only showing a certain image they want to portray and hiding the ugly, messy parts of their relationship. They may look like the perfect dream couple but trust me, it’s very rare for a couple to be absolutely perfect and not have any issues.
Don’t stress yourself trying to be more like anyone else and don’t put that kind of pressure on your partner. Focus on YOUR relationship and your relationship only. You don’t need to concern yourself with what other people are doing or how they’re living their life.
It’s no secret that one of the most amazing feelings that comes with being in a secure, long-term relationship is feeling comfortable around each other.
It feels great to be who you are around them without having to hide or worry about things. However, you need to be careful not to get so comfortable that you start becoming lazy.
There is a line between comfort and laziness and it’s a line you should be aware of. Don’t become negligent in your relationship or appearance.
It’s important that you constantly put work into the relationship to keep it fresh and fun. Don’t skip out on date nights or put your nice clothes and jewelry in storage!
Find reasons to dress up for each other and dedicate a night to just the two of you every now and then. Always make time for each other and make it a point to try new things in and out of the bedroom.
Love is wonderful and can be very fulfilling if you know yourself and you know what you need and want. On the flip side, there’s almost no worse feeling than being in an unhealthy and unsatisfying relationship.
This can happen if you jumped in too soon or didn’t know what you were needing or wanting from the relationship.
Know that if you’re feeling uncertain in your love life, you are not alone! You don’t have to keep wondering and second-guessing yourself, hoping that you’ll just figure it out soon.
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They can help you find out the type of person you’re meant to be with, if the person you’re currently with is right for you, if they’re cheating on you, etc.
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