While love is one of the most sought-after feelings in the world, it’s also one of the most misunderstood. There’s a lot of confusion, misunderstanding, lies, and uncertainties surrounding love. I want to talk about 5 of the biggest myths you may believe in that could hurt your love life.
Myth #1- Love Just Magically Arrives In Your Life
Disney cartoons, romance novels, and whoever created Cupid have given us unrealistic expectations regarding love. They have led us to believe that love magically happens, and you don’t have to do anything for it; just sit around and wait until your soulmate finds you one day. The truth is love does not “just happen.”
Your Prince Charming does exist, but he won’t come breaking down doors looking for you because an arrow shot him in the heart and told him where to find you! He is looking for you, but he may not be how you imagined him. He won’t find you if you’re not in a state to be or allowing yourself to be found.
True love will only come when you are prepared to receive it wholeheartedly. You may think you’re prepared, but are you genuinely ready?? Truly and fully? Being fully prepared to receive love means many things:
- Allowing yourself to be vulnerable
- Taking a chance
- Knowing yourself and what you want from a relationship
- Accepting your flaws and imperfections and loving yourself unconditionally.
- Being willing to grow and evolve with a partner
- Being prepared to feel pain at times
- Above all else, being able to let go completely.
Once you’re mentally and emotionally in the right place to give and receive love, you will attract the right relationship. The relationship that is perfect for you and just meant to be.
Myth #2- Your Relationship Should Be Easy If It’s True Love
“Falling in love” is pretty easy, especially when your partner is attractive. When you see that person for the first time, your heart feels like it’s going to burst out of your chest, your palms get sweaty, and everything feels magical and perfect. Anyone can fall in love easily; “rising in love” is the most important thing, and it can be much harder.
The cute, quirky things your partner does that you find endearing at first can eventually become annoying. Their attractiveness will stop being the first thing you see every day, and instead, you’ll begin noticing their flaws and imperfections first. Their true character will come out, and they’ll stop presenting only the best parts about themselves to you, and vice versa.
This might sound bad, but it’s good because it shows your relationship is becoming more authentic and substantial. However, these are all things you need to be able to accept if you are genuinely in love. Love isn’t always sunshine and rainbows; sometimes, it’s rainy days and stepping in dog poo.
Genuine Love Surpasses All Obstacles
True love can navigate your relationship’s changes and love each other unconditionally. If you can’t handle the painful parts of your relationship, it may be time to reevaluate your union. No relationship is without its troubles and heartache, but this pain should be the type that challenges you and makes you grow into a better person. It should teach you things and make your life better in the long run.
If it’s pain just for the sake of being pain or if your partner loves hurting you for their satisfaction, then this is the wrong kind of pain. You should not be in a relationship with them and must break things off. Love isn’t supposed to hurt; it’s supposed to change you and make you more compassionate and loving. The pain usually keeps couples from “rising in love,” which is when relationships typically end.
Overcoming these challenges is what separates true love from insincere love. Think about all the headaches, heartaches, and changes a couple that has been together for fifty years has endured. They made a conscious effort to love each other no matter what, and they made it work through all those years, rising above the pain and the problems.
Myth #3- True Love Is Always Equal For Both
Wouldn’t it be nice if there was a way to measure a person’s ability to love another person on the first date? If you could hook them up to a machine and give you a reading of how prepared they are to be in a real relationship. Think of all the wasted time you could avoid with people only looking for someone to pass the time with or sleep with.
Since that isn’t possible, there’s no way to know this about someone you just met. You might even go on several dates with them before you get a feel for what they are looking for in you. That’s why you have to be open-minded and vulnerable if you want to find true love. When you find this love, you need to be mindful that love isn’t always going to be 50/50.
There may be days when it feels like you love them more than they love you, as well as days where it seems like they’re more into you than you are into them. This is especially true when you’re fighting or arguing. Just because it doesn’t always feel like 50/50 doesn’t mean you need to throw in the towel and call it quits!
Love Should Never Be A Competition
Love isn’t a competition, and there’s no need to try to measure how much you love each other constantly. The important thing is to be there for one another, even when that person might be on your last nerve. They are likely going through some things, and you need to be strong for them and vice versa.
You should never try to “get back at each other” for not loving each other enough when one of you is in a bad place. Be the bigger person and prove that you’ll be there for them no matter what and that they can count on you.
They should be doing the same for you, and if your relationship isn’t like this and you’re always trying to compete, you might want to consider ending it. Have a calm conversation with your partner first, but if things don’t change, this probably isn’t the person you’re meant to spend the rest of your life with.
Myth #4- Your Relationship Just Needs Love
The Beatles may have tried to convince us that all we need is love, but that isn’t true. A relationship needs more than just feelings of love to survive and thrive. Love is excellent and necessary but it needs trust, compassion, respect, understanding, etc.
You would think those things are a given when you love someone, but that’s not true either. Those things have to develop and grow alongside love. You can feel like you love someone, but if you don’t respect them, you will criticize them and make them feel bad; even though you love them, you also have other opinions about them.
Love is both an intention and an action. This means that even if you FEEL love towards someone, you still need to ACT that way towards them. Does your partner tell you that they love you one minute and then proceed to leave their clothes all over the living room after you’ve asked them multiple times not to?
They’re stating they love you, but their actions say otherwise. You need to be willing to work around this. You need to have patience, and they need to be able to listen to you and understand when you tell them it bothers you to no end. “But babe, I love you” isn’t going to be enough to move you forward in your life together if they can’t respect your wishes.
Myth #5- True Love Means Having Everything In Common
This myth is one of the most widely believed surrounding love. You are your own person, right? You have your own unique traits, characteristics, personality, qualities, and goals. The same goes for your partner. This is something that you’re going to have to work with if you want your relationship to become a long-term one.
Many differences ahead might lead you to butt heads, and you’ll need patience and understanding to get you through them. You should never expect your partner to be exactly like you and want the same things you want or like the same things you like. Variety is the spice of life, and you need to be able to not only navigate but embrace these differences.
You can truly love someone opposite of you; compatibility is part of your relationship, not the deciding factor. Often, the most successful relationships have a quality reminiscent of ‘yin and yang’ to them. They seem like complete opposites, but that’s what makes their relationship thrive. They complement each other, and one partner’s weakness is the other’s strength.
The couple uses their differences to help each other, creating even more love. You only need to agree that you love each other and want to be in each other’s lives long-term. It would help if you were compatible in certain aspects of your lives, but there is no need to be a carbon copy of one another.
Have a deep, heartfelt discussion with your partner and touch base on where they see themselves in the future. Is that a future you can get behind? Do they like your vision of the future? If so, that’s all you need! Embrace the differences that make you unique, and have fun with them!
Don’t Be Afraid To Seek Professional Help
True love makes you do what’s right for you, even if it’s painful at the time. If you’re having difficulty deciding whether your relationship is right for you or have questions about your love life, you might consider getting a psychic love reading.
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