While love is one of the most sought-after feelings in the worlds, it’s also one of the most misunderstood. There’s a lot of confusion, misunderstanding, lies and uncertainties that surround love.
I want to talk about 5 of the biggest myths that you may believe in and that could be hurting your love life.
Myth #1- Love Just Magically Arrives In Your Life
Disney cartoons, romance novels and whoever came up with Cupid, the love shooting angel, have really done a good job of giving us unrealistic expectations when it comes to falling in love. We have been led to believe that love just magically happens and you don’t have to do anything for it. Just sit around and wait until your soulmate finds you one day.
The truth is, love does not “just happen.” Your Prince Charming does exist, but he’s not just going to come breaking down doors looking for you because an arrow shot him in the heart and told him where to find you! He is looking for you, but he may not be how you’ve been imagining him to be.
He’s not going to find you if you’re not in a state to be found or if you’re not allowing yourself to be found.
True love will only come to you when you are prepared to receive it wholeheartedly. You may think you’re prepared but, are you ACTUALLY prepared?? Truly and fully?
Being fully prepared to receive love means allowing yourself to be vulnerable, being willing to take a chance, knowing yourself and what you want out of a relationship, accepting your flaws and imperfections, and loving yourself unconditionally.
It means being willing to grow and evolve with a partner, compromising, being prepared to feel pain at times, and above all else, being able to let go completely.
Once you are mentally and emotionally in the right place to give and receive love, you will attract the right relationship. The relationship that is perfect for you and just meant to be.
Myth #2- Your Relationship Should Be Easy If It’s True Love
“Falling in love” is actually pretty easy, especially when your partner is attractive. When you see that person for the first time, your heart feels like it’s going to burst out of your chest, your palms get sweaty, and everything just feels magical and perfect.
Anyone can fall in love prettily easily, it’s actually “rising in love” that is the most important thing and that can be a lot harder.
The cute, quirky things your partner does that you found so endearing at first can eventually become irritating and annoying.
Their attractiveness will stop being the first thing you see everyday and you’ll begin noticing their flaws and imperfections instead. Their true character will come out and they’ll stop presenting only the best parts about themselves to you, and vice versa.
This might sound like a bad thing but it’s actually a good sign. It shows that your relationship is becoming real and substantial- more authentic.
However, these are all things you need to be able to accept if you are truly in love. Love isn’t always sunshine and rainbows, sometimes it’s rainy days and stepping in dog poo.
True love is able to navigate the changes your relationship takes and loving each other unconditionally. If you can’t handle the painful parts of your relationship, it may be time to reevaluate your union.
No relationship is without its troubles and heartache, but this pain should be the type that challenges you and makes you grow into a better person. It should teach you things and make your life better in the long-run.
If it’s pain just for the sake of being pain or if your partner just loves hurting you for their satisfaction then this is the wrong kind of pain. You should not be in a relationship with them and need to break things off.
Love isn’t supposed to hurt, it’s supposed to change you and make you more compassionate and loving. The pain is usually what keeps couples from “rising in love” and that is typically when relationships end. Overcoming these challenges is what separates true love from insincere love.
Think about all the headaches, heartaches and changes a couple that has been together for fifty years has endured. They made a conscious effort to love each other no matter what and they made it work through all those years, rising above the pain and the problems.
Myth #3- True Love Is Always Equal For Both
Wouldn’t it be nice if there was a way to measure a person’s ability to love another person on the first date? If you could hook them up to a machine and gave you a reading of how prepared they are to be in a real relationship. Think of all the wasted time that could be avoided with people who are only looking for someone to pass the time with or to sleep with.
Since that isn’t possible, there’s no way to know this about a person you just met. You might even go on several dates with them before you can get a feel for what they are looking for in you. That’s why you have to be open-minded and vulnerable if you want to find true love.
When you do find this love, you need to be mindful of the fact that love isn’t always going to be 50/50. There may be days when it feels like you love them more than they love you, as well as days where it seems like they’re more into you than you are into them.
This is especially true when you’re fighting or arguing. Just because it doesn’t feel like 50/50 all the time doesn’t mean that you need to throw in the towel and call it quits!
Love isn’t a competition and there’s no need to constantly try to measure how much you love each other. The important thing is to be there for one another, even when that person might be on your last nerve. They are more than likely going through some things and you need to be strong for them, and vice versa.
You should never be trying to “get back at each other” for not loving each other enough when one of you is in a bad place. Be the bigger person and prove to them that you’ll be there for them no matter what and that they can count on you.
They should be doing the same for you and if your relationship isn’t like this and you’re always trying to compete with each other, you might want to consider ending the relationship. Have a calm conversation with your partner first but if things don’t change, this probably isn’t the person you are meant to spend the rest of your life with.
Myth #4- Your Relationship Just Needs Love
The Beatles may have tried to convince us that all we need is love, but that isn’t actually true. A relationship needs to have a lot more than just feelings of love in order to survive and thrive.
Love is great and it’s definitely necessary, but it also needs trust, compassion, respect, understanding etc. You would think those things are automatically included when you love someone but that’s not true either.
Those things have to develop and grow alongside love. You can feel like you love someone but if you don’t respect them, you’re going to berate them and make them feel bad, even though you DO love them, but you have other opinions about them as well.
Love is both an intention and an act. This means that even if you FEEL love towards someone, you still need to ACT that way towards them. Does your partner tell you that they love you one minute, and then proceed to leave their clothes all over the living room after you’ve asked them multiple times not to?
They are stating they love you, but their actions say otherwise. You need to be willing to work around this. You need to have patience and they need to be able to listen to you and understand when you tell them it bothers you to no end.
“But babe, I love you,” isn’t going to be enough to move you forward in your life together if they can’t respect your wishes.
Myth #5- True Love Means Having Everything In Common
This is one of the most widely believed myths surrounding love. You are your own person, right? You have your own unique traits, characteristics, personality, qualities and goals. The same goes for your partner. This is something that you’re going to have to work with if you want your relationship to become a long-term one.
There will be many differences ahead that might lead you to butt heads and you’re going to need patience and understanding to get you through them. You should never expect your partner to be exactly like you and want the same things that you want or like the same things that you like.
Variety is the spice of life and you need to be able to not only navigate, but embrace, these differences. You can truly love someone who is the opposite of you, compatibility is just a part of your relationship, not the single deciding factor.
A lot of times the most successful relationships have an quality reminiscent of ‘yin and yang’ to them. They seem like complete opposites but that’s what makes their relationship thrive. They complement each other and the weakness of one partner is the other partner’s strength. They use their differences to help each other and this creates even more love in the relationship.
The only thing you need to agree on is that you love each other and want to be in each other’s lives in the long-term. You need to be compatible in certain aspects of your lives, but there is no need to be a carbon copy of one another.
Have a deep, heartfelt discussion with your partner and touch base on where they see themselves in the future. Is that a future you can get behind? Do they like you vision of the future? If so, that’s all you need! Embrace the differences that make you unique and have fun with them!
True love has a way of making you do what’s right for you, even if it’s painful at the time. If you’re having a hard time deciding whether your relationship is right for you or if you have any questions about your love life, you might want to consider getting a psychic love reading.
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