Single And Don’t Know Why? 6 Common Reasons That Could Be Affecting You
Are you unlucky in love? Does it feel like your friends, siblings, and coworkers are all in happy relationships but yours seem to end before they ever even really begin?
There could be deeper and more complicated reasons why this may be happening to you that you might be completely unaware of. It’s never too late to learn and change things if you’re hoping to find love.
The first step towards changing your situation is awareness. If you’re reading this article then you are already know something’s gotta give and that you might need to make some changes.
The second step is acceptance. This means that once you become aware of the situation you accept it instead of fighting it or getting defensive about it.Being in denial won’t get you very far in life.
The third step is action. Once you’re aware of the problem and you accept that you suffer from the problem, you then need to take action to fix the problem.
Psychics are great at helping you with all three steps thanks to their natural gifts and intuition. Speak with one if you can’t ever seem to start or maintain a relationship and aren’t sure why.
Having low self-esteem or confidence makes it difficult to allow yourself into a loving relationship. You may not believe in your worth and you might not trust yourself to be in a “dream relationship” type of situation.
You could also be wrongly telling yourself that “people like you” can’t possibly have that kind of unconditional love.
Another thing not believing in yourself enough can do is make you reject the right people. This happens unconsciously and it keeps you from having to deal with these complicated feelings of unworthiness.
Instead of fighting for what you deserve, even if it seems within reach, you just tell yourself it’ll never happen and never take the chance with people.
The result is that you don’t pursue any type of relationship and stay single or you always go for the wrong types. The types that are undeserving of your love and don’t treat you the way you deserve to be treated.
They take advantage of you, lie to you, insult you, cheat on you or any other number of unacceptable behaviors.
You eventually decide that they’re too much work than they’re worth (rightly so) and break up with them, therefore finding yourself once again single and questioning your ability to maintain any type of relationship.
In cases like these, being single is way better than being in a painful relationship with a jerk!
The good news is that it’s never too late to build up your confidence and self-esteem. It might not be the easiest thing to do, but it is definitely possible! Not only will it take your love life to the next level, it will take your whole life to the next level in every area possible.
The old saying “you can’t love someone until you love yourself” is 100% true. The sooner you start to believe in yourself and see your worth, the better your life will get.
Loving yourself unconditionally is the only way to go in today’s society where everyone only seems to be looking out for themselves. If you need help becoming more confident, check out this article.
Psychics are also a great resource for finding your path towards confidence and self-esteem, as well as helping you move forward. They can shed light on things you had no idea about before.
If you’ve never heard of John Bowlby’s Attachment Theory, I suggest you check it out, it’s incredibly interesting. It’s a well-used framework for understanding why people develop insecure attachments and attachment disorders.
In a nutshell, he believes that attachment styles and attachment disorders stem from early childhood experiences and continue with us throughout our lives, causing problems for us and making it hard for us to relate to others as we become adults.
These problems include but are not limited to:
- Fear of intimacy
- Being too clingy
- Getting into unhealthy or even dangerous relationships
- Developing idealistic and unhelpful concepts about how a relationship should be
- Jealousy in relationships
- A lack, or fear of commitment
It is believed that about 40% of the western population suffer from attachment disorders and have insecure attachment styles. This is a real issue and it could be affecting you without you even knowing what it is!
Learning about the different attachment styles, recognizing your own, and understanding yours allows you to then work on yourself and the issues that could have stemmed from your childhood.
Resolving these issues puts you in a place where you can then fix the damaging patterns you’ve been experiencing.
Once these negative patterns are removed, they can then be replaced with positive and healthy ones which can lead to safe and healthy relationships.
You’ll no longer be afraid to let yourself be vulnerable or have a crippling fear of rejection.
Mommy or daddy issues are a real problem that affects thousands of people around the world. If it feels like you always have the same problems with a partner that you did with one or both of your parents, you could be experiencing this issue.
Basically it means that you’re subconsciously trying to fix the problems you had with your parents through your relationship.
This will understandingly cause issues with your partner because nobody wants to pay for the mistakes of others.
Taking it out on your partner might feel good at the moment, but it isn’t going to fix the situation with your parent and it will only lead to a breakup.
The silver lining here is that this tells you that you’re at the point where you are ready to fix these issues with your parent. That’s the whole reason this is even coming up in your love life to begin with.
This is a great sign that it’s time to resolve these parental issues once and for all.
A lot of times this healing is best done without the parent because, unless you have an extremely understanding mother or father, most of the time parents don’t want to admit any wrongdoing. They are in denial or blacked that part of raising you out because they realized they could have done better.
You don’t need them in order to heal from your childhood. You just need to want it and you need to work through it on your own.
You can consult self-help books, start journaling, see a therapist, read online blogs about healing, or (my favorite) consult an online psychic advisor who has tons of experience when it comes to healing childhood traumas and moving forward with your best life yet.
It’s important that you don’t start a new relationship until after you have resolved these childhood issues. This way you can start with a clean slate once you do meet somebody new.
This gives you the best opportunity to experience and enjoy a healthy and loving relationship without ghosts from your past coming back to haunt you.
This reason might sound strange, after all, we are talking about why you haven’t met the perfect guy yet, but it can happen subconsciously. It’s so common that it’s been named ‘heterophobia.’
It could stem from something as small as seeing a bad man or woman in a scary movie you saw as a child, or something as traumatic as being molested or harassed by a member of the opposite sex during your developing years.
Some people just have a fear or distrust in something that’s different from themselves but this is less common.
Humans are good at blocking certain memories out or pushing them so far down inside themselves and thinking they’re over it. We don’t realize that these kinds of things stick with us for a lifetime if we don’t address them.
If any of this resonates with you and you think you might have a fear of the opposite sex, this is a good time to speak with a psychic for help and guidance.
They can delve deep into your past and help you uncover the things that are holding you back. Once they’ve worked with you to discover that, they can then help you work through it all and put it behind you once and for all.
Disney cartoons and Hollywood movies are notorious for giving us unrealistic expectations we think we need to live up to. They fill our heads with images of what type of partner we should find attractive and how we should never settle for anything less than perfect.
The truth is, nobody is perfect and nobody can tell you what your relationship should be like.
We are all different and while some women may like to have their partner open their car door every single time, a lot of women actually prefer to open their own doors. It doesn’t mean their partner is a bad person for not doing so, it’s just not how their relationship works.
Is it possible that you’ve fallen into the trap and have been trying to build a relationship based off of unnatural and unrealistic expectations? Do you refuse to give anyone the time of day if they don’t look like the people you see on television? Do you stop talking to people when you find out that what they do for a living is less than glamorous?
If so, there’s no better time than now to start thinking about the ways in which you are sabotaging your chances of love. Meditate, journal, speak to a psychic, whatever helps you work out what is really important for you in a partner and a relationship.
This isn’t to say that you shouldn’t have certain standards or preferences. You shouldn’t say “yes” to just anybody who asks you out. You can still have certain expectations, just make sure they’re reasonable and realistic.
Don’t expect more from someone than you’re willing or able to give back. Don’t expect every person you meet to be absolutely perfect and flawless.
Decide what flaws are a deal breaker and which ones you have maybe been too unforgiving about in the past.
The world is a big, big place! Some people live right in the middle of all the action, in huge metropolitan cities with people around them day and night. Others however, live in more rural areas where it can be hard to meet like-minded people.
Or perhaps they have work-from-home jobs that keep them from going out into the world every day. A lot of people are just extremely shy and stay away from people because they can’t handle the stress and anxiety of being around those they don’t know.
Are any of these you? Isolation is one of the biggest reasons why a lot of people are single. Especially in our digitally connected world where we can have things delivered to our front door without ever having to step foot near others if we don’t want.
While having the ability to stay away from people might be appealing, it could also be keeping you from meeting that special somebody.
If you think you may be too isolated from others, you might want to start thinking of ways to get back in touch with people.
Maybe you never believed in online dating so you’ve just been waiting and waiting, hoping to meet someone special in person. Well, if you live in a more remote area, you could be waiting a lot longer than you’d like. Make an online dating profile and just see what happens!
Long distance relationships can be just as serious and meaningful as regular ones. If anything, they may even create a deeper and longer lasting bond because of how much you learn from each other over a period of time.
Then you can plan an event to meet in person if you hit it off well online. You’ll feel like you already know them and it can be less awkward than if you just run in to someone at the store.
If you are around people often but are just too shy, you need to learn how to let go of some of that nervousness. Sometimes the most uncomfortable things have the best return investment.
The worst thing that can happen is you don’t like what’s going on and you leave, but at least you know you went out and tried.
Have a night out on the town with some friends, go to the parties you’re invited to, etc. Don’t let shyness hold you back.
If you have a job that keeps you in the house a lot you can sign up for some classes or events in town. Join a book club, sign up for yoga class, enroll in a group fitness program. Anything that connects you with other people.
If any of these reasons sound like something you’re experiencing, don’t hesitate to get help from a genuine and trustworthy psychic. They can help you begin your journey of healing and lead you towards romantic bliss. Click the box below for a list of some of my favorite and most trusted psychics.