Although being in love is one of the most amazing experiences, not all relationships are healthy or good for us.
Problems arise when your relationship becomes codependent and takes away from you instead of adding to your life. It’s essential to know the difference between healthy love and codependent love.
Do you constantly second-guess yourself or ask your partner’s “permission” to do things? You may be in more of a codependent relationship than a healthy one.
It’s easy to lose yourself in your partner, and it even feels natural sometimes, but it’s not. It may seem harmless, but being in a codependent relationship gets you closer to losing your independence and identity.
According to Dr. Scott Wetzler, Ph.D. of Psychology, “codependent relationships signify a degree of unhealthy clinginess, where one person doesn’t have self-sufficiency or autonomy. One or both parties depend on their loved ones for fulfillment.”
Anyone can become codependent on their partner, but research suggests that individuals neglected or emotionally abused by their parents are more susceptible.
Signs Your Relationship Might Be A Codependent One:
- You find yourself supporting your partner no matter how much it affects your physical, mental, or emotional health.
- You’re unable to find happiness or satisfaction outside your life with your partner or relationship.
- You admit your partner has unhealthy behaviors, but you stay with them anyways because you’re afraid of being alone.
- You’re more concerned about what your partner thinks about you than how you think about yourself.
- You gave up your interests and hobbies to constantly be with your partner.
- You’re afraid of making decisions on your own and need your partner to always tell you what to do.
If you find these signs in your relationship, you need to step back and reevaluate it. Start treating yourself more healthily and valuing yourself first and foremost.
If you don’t make a change, you will continue giving up your identity and needs for those of your partner, and this will cause you to lose yourself in the process and has negative short and long-term consequences.
Fixing the situation doesn’t mean you have to break up with your partner; you just need to decide to change your codependent relationship into a healthy one. Below are some ways to do this:
Communicate With Your Partner
Explain to your partner that you haven’t been feeling like yourself lately. Let them know you feel like you’ve lost yourself and would like to find yourself again.
You’ll need to set boundaries in your relationship and be more involved with any decisions and planning. Discuss your relationship goals with your partner, and talk about the part you each play in making that happen.
Let them know your changes are for yourself and aren’t personal against them. If they genuinely love you and want the best for you, they’ll understand and support you in your journey to find yourself again.
Spend More Time With Friends And Family
You can tell you’re in a codependent relationship when you stop caring about or spending time with other people in your life and start spending all your free time with your partner.
If this is you, it’s time to start spending more time with loved ones you may have been neglecting. Visit your parents and grandparents, hang out with your siblings, and schedule dinner with friends that have been trying to see you.
Commit yourself to spending at least one night a week with someone who isn’t your partner. Doing this not only helps you gain some independence but also helps the relationship by giving each other space and introducing new things to talk about.
Get Back To Your Hobbies Or Pick Up New Ones
Sit back and think back to all the things you used to enjoy doing before you entered into your relationship. Remember all the activities that used to make your heart happy.
Did you use to love painting, playing soccer, going dancing, reading, writing, etc., and then just stop doing these things to spend all of your free time with your partner?
Just because they don’t like these things doesn’t mean you should ignore that part of yourself and drop them altogether. Pick back up where you left off!
Give yourself time each week to start practicing these hobbies again. These things make you who you are and give you a deeper sense of meaning that you may not even realize you need. Let your creativity flow all over again.
Take Care Of Your Body
It’s normal to reach a new level of comfort when you enter a relationship. The downside to this is that you may slow down or completely stop exercising or having physically involved activities.
You might also begin to eat delicious but unhealthy comfort foods or desserts more often. This decrease in activity level and increase in unhealthy food can negatively affect your health and body image.
So while it’s nice for your partner to not care about your weight, stay healthy and active for YOURSELF. You deserve optimal health, and so do your friends and family members so that you can be there for them.
Give yourself time and space to be active at least three times weekly. Go for a nice nature hike or a walk around the city, reconnect with yourself in a yoga class, or hit the gym for a sweat sesh.
Love yourself first and foremost, and remember that your body and health are crucial to your well-being.
Nurture Yourself Spiritually
It’s a common misconception that once you’re in a relationship, you’re supposed to rely on your partner to meet all your spiritual needs. However, you need to be in charge of nurturing your spirit 100% of the time.
Your partner should be something extra that adds depth and love to your spirit, but you should never depend on them to nourish your spirituality.
Nurturing your spirit doesn’t have to be about attending church or praying religiously; it’s about constantly improving yourself. Reading self-help books, working with crystals, journaling your feelings, meditating, things like that.
When you pay attention to and nurture your spirit, you get a clearer view of your dreams and desires. You’re able to place focus on the bigger picture of your life without every little thing distracting you.
If you don’t know what you want for your life, a reading with a professional psychic might be an excellent option. They can help you reconnect with your spirit and find your direction and identity that have gotten lost along the way.
Learn Something New
If you’ve always wanted to learn something new or pick up a new hobby, this is the perfect time to do it. Find a local or online class that teaches you new skills.
Whether it’s jewelry-making, piano playing, or crocheting, you can never have too many skills or learn too many things.
The feeling you get after you’ve mastered something new for the first time is terrific and goes a long way to increase your self-love and self-esteem.
Knowing you made something out of nothing teaches you that there’s nothing you can’t do if you set your mind to it. Taking classes and learning new things is a great way to regain your identity and independence.
You’d be amazed at how much you can learn about yourself and your relationship from a reading with a genuine psychic.