4 Ways To Tell If You’re Feeling Love or Lust In Your Relationship

While being highly attracted to someone is good, you need to know whether you’re feeling love or lust toward them. Although both feelings are lovely, recognizing your feelings greatly affects how you proceed with the relationship. The line between love and lust is so fine that it can sometimes be hard to tell them apart. To add to the confusion, you need one to have the other. You can’t have attraction without feeling lust.

Lust is a subconscious biological reaction to an attractive person, propelling your body towards wanting to be with that person. Nothing is wrong with that, except it’s a temporary feeling that can’t sustain a lifetime of happiness. Lust is a feeling that’s remained with us from our caveman days. Back then, we didn’t need to find an intelligent, responsible, sweet, mentally fulfilling partner to spend our lives with.

Strong caveman

Back then, we just needed to find the strongest and fastest partner with the best genes to mate with. Females looked for brute strength in males, and males looked for healthy, fertile, and docile females. These individuals were usually the most physically attractive since they were active and kept themselves healthy and fit. Our brains told us to pick that person, and we felt lust toward them. This lust drove us to mate and reproduce with them.

We’re past those days, though, and our needs have changed. We now have different criteria for a relationship to be considered healthy. It must evolve from lust to love to overcome life’s many obstacles. It’s fantastic if your partner can lift heavy weights, but brute strength can’t fix everything. Their physical power alone can’t help you when facing problems and complications that require mental strength.

A Healthy Relationship Requires More Than Sex

Being with a person to whom you’re only attracted physically won’t keep you mentally stimulated enough to grow old together and live out the rest of your lives as a team. You need more than a strong body and an attractive face. So, how do you know if you’re feeling lust or love toward your partner? How can you tell when a relationship has moved from one to the other? Here are four big signs that can help you decide:

Your Relationship Is Purely Sexual

Sex is a vital part of a healthy relationship; I think everyone can agree on that. A relationship CAN survive and thrive without sexual intimacy, but it takes a lot of work and can be difficult. That said, sex is not the “be-all end-all” of any relationship. You need a lot more than just a healthy sex life. If the only feelings you can express and share are purely sexual, that’s a good sign you’re in lust. You should be spending time doing a lot of other things together.

Couples in love talk about other subjects, learn different things about each other, engage in nonsexual activities, etc. You should not only feel sexually attracted to them but mentally as well. You should want to have deep, meaningful conversations with them as often as you want to take them to the bedroom. Love’s connection is much deeper than the one created by sex alone; love goes above and beyond physical pleasure.

Feeling Constant Lust Towards Your Partner Isn’t Necessarily Bad

If it feels like you and your partner aren’t emotionally and mentally vulnerable with each other, you probably aren’t in love- at least not yet. You’re still at the point where lust controls your body and mind, and all you want to do is be in bed with them as much as possible. This hunger is normal, especially at the beginning of a new relationship!

Things can still change at some point, though, and what’s important is that your relationship eventually evolves from lust to love. Be patient with the relationship and give it some time. Suppose an excessive amount of time seems to go by, and you still don’t find yourself mentally stimulated or emotionally invested in the relationship.

In that case, it could be time to reevaluate where you want the relationship to go. This amount of time differs for everyone, so don’t put a timeframe on it. However, if you feel like you aren’t getting what you want out of the relationship because you want more than just sex and they don’t- or vice versa- then you’ll know when to decide.

You Won’t Have Any Desire To Cheat

Just because someone is in a relationship doesn’t mean they can no longer admire another person or find them attractive. It’s human nature to notice good-looking members of the opposite sex, and fighting that urge can be difficult and unnatural. However, the key to healthy relationships is not acting on that interest. If you’re in love, you might notice other people, but they won’t be on your sexual radar, and you wouldn’t even think about cheating.

You’ll be able to appreciate their genes or admire the hard work they put into their bodies, but you wouldn’t want to be with anyone else but your partner. If you only feel lust, your eyes will wander since you’ll subconsciously seek someone more attractive, stronger, taller, etc. The reason is that the relationship is purely physical to you, and your partner is replaceable for you if an “upgrade” were to come along.

You Have A Healthy Sense Of Jealousy And Possessiveness

Jealousy and possessiveness are considered bad guys in a relationship, and there’s some truth to that. Sometimes, a partner showing those characteristics can be a red flag, but you should know that they aren’t automatically bad. People who are head-over-heels in love with their partner and don’t want anyone else but them are bound to show jealousy and possessiveness.

Their deep emotional and psychological connection with their partner will naturally cause them to feel that way. It’s such a deep biological drive that’s hard to control because losing someone they love to another person is so devastating.

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So while having jealous or possessive feelings isn’t necessarily a bad thing, there are different types of jealousy and possessiveness. One stems from lust, and one stems from love. When jealousy and possessiveness stem from lust, you or your partner will try to control and manage each other’s lives. You tend to view each other as “objects” that belong to you and no one else. This possessiveness is a form of oppressive control that’s unhealthy.

Find Out Where Your Jealous Feelings Are Coming From

Jealous and possessive feelings that stem from love can still be unhealthy but are generally harmless. You and your partner will be understanding towards each other instead of angry with one another. When you’re in love, you’ll still trust and love your partner if they are out without you, even though you might have that little doubting voice in your mind. You love them so much that you want them to have fun even if you can’t be there for whatever reason.

If it’s love, you won’t try to tell your partner what they can or can’t do or who they can or can’t see. You’ll believe in them and what you have together, so you’ll let them make their own decisions. With lust, you’ll always try to keep them with you and be angry that they went out without you. You’ll think the worst and resent your partner for having a life outside of you. You’ll hate that they went to their friends’ get-togethers while you were stuck at work, even though they’re just being a good friend.

You Are Willing To Sacrifice In The Relationship

This trait ties back to the previous one, about letting someone do things that make them happy even if you can’t join them. That’s a form of sacrifice because you choose their happiness and feelings over yours. You should never be stepped on and taken advantage of in a relationship, but every relationship requires sacrifice from both of you to thrive. Do you feel like you make or are willing to make sacrifices for your partner or the relationship’s health? If so, that’s a massive sign that you’re experiencing love versus lust.

If it were just a relationship based on lust, you would notice that you, your partner, or both of you only take and never give anything in return. You would care about one thing and one thing only, which is receiving physical pleasure. You’re not willing to make inconvenient long-term commitments when you’re lustful. Love can be confusing; sometimes, it helps to have an outsider looking in. 

Find the answers to your questions and get your love life on the right path by speaking to an authentic and trustworthy psychic advisor. Don’t waste precious time hoping the answers will appear to you alone! Sometimes you need the guidance and advice only an intuitively gifted psychic can provide. Check out my favorite psychics below!

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Angela Moore founded Psychic Review Online in 2008 after being scammed out of her life savings by a psychic con artist. Since then she has devoted her time to rooting out the frauds and helping people find a real psychic reader.

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