Anger is a primitive feeling that has been around as long as humans have and affects everyone. People usually view anger as a negative quality, but it isn’t necessarily bad. Sometimes anger helps you defend yourself, accomplish things you wouldn’t normally do, and turn your fear into courage. What IS bad about anger is how you react to it.
Do you realize you’re angry, accept something isn’t going your way, control the powerful feeling, and deal with it positively and productively? Or do you let your anger get the best of you and surge out in a massive burst of negative energy, harming everything and everyone in its path? Maybe you’re neither one of these. Instead, you tend to stifle and bottle your anger and turn this emotion into feelings of despair, guilt, worry, and anxiety that eat away at you day after day.
If you’re one of the last two types, know you’re not alone. It’s rare to meet someone who’s learned to take control of their anger and use it positively. They do exist, though, and as we evolve as a species, more and more people are learning to manage their anger to stop hurting themselves and those around them. As I’m sure you know, anger affects the person carrying and feeling it, not just who they’re mad at.
That’s why it’s so crucial that you learn how to control and manage your anger. Along with learning how to manage your anger externally, you should also strive to learn how to manage it spiritually. Usually, when you experience anger, it lingers inside your body and doesn’t end with your outburst. It can crush your spirit and keep you from making spiritual progress. Here are some effects unmanaged anger can have on you:
Damaging Effects Of Unmanaged Anger
Physical effects– Anger has an incredibly damaging impact on your cardiovascular system. For example, it doubles your chances of heart disease, coronary disease, and heart attacks. You’re likely to have a stroke or aneurysm due to blood clots in the brain. Anger weakens your immune system, and you’re more likely to be sick more often. It can make you prone to migraines and cause your breathing to become labored due to the toll it takes on your lungs.
It raises your cortisol levels, which regulate your stress level and is one reason the body retains fat. Mental effects- Unmanaged anger can worsen your anxiety if you’re already prone to worrying. A 2012 study published in a medical journal about Cognitive Behavior Therapy found that anger worsens Generalized Anxiety Disorder symptoms.
Being angry and carrying anger within you has also been linked to higher cases of depression. The inability to control your anger can also lead to feelings of social withdrawal, unwarranted fear, and suicide for some. Spiritual effects– Holding on to anger has adverse effects on your spirit. It takes up valuable space in your body and being, crowding out the goodness and positivity that should be filling you instead.
Anger fills you with bitterness, resentment, jealousy, hate, and spite. It can block your path to spiritual growth and give you bad karma. You must learn lifelong skills to manage your anger for these reasons alone. You will lead a much more fulfilling and productive life if your mind, body, and spirit connection is balanced. Here are seven tips to get you started on your path to anger management:
Understand Your Anger And Keep An Open Mind
Sometimes other emotions can feel like anger when they aren’t, and vice versa. Are you angry, or are you just tired, annoyed, or hungry? Is something just getting on your nerves, or is it causing you to shake with fury? When you notice you’re starting to feel angry, slow down and take a deep breath. Try to figure out what you’re feeling and why the situation affects you so strongly.
Could you THINK you’re angry but, in reality, are just nervous about something else and overreacting about this issue? Identifying what and how you’re feeling can help you figure out what you need to do to keep the situation from escalating and keep from bursting. Once you’ve realized why something is making you angry, understand that nothing lasts forever, and this, too, shall pass. In other words, you should try to chill out about it.
When we get angry, our blood starts boiling and rises to our faces, hence the nickname “hot head.” It doesn’t have to be that way, though. Remind yourself that the situation angering you isn’t stick around for the rest of your life and, therefore, shouldn’t affect you so intensely. You’re in a much better position to solve the problem if you think about it logically versus immediately blowing up.
Look at the problem from different perspectives and be open-minded. Try to see things from other people’s points of view and put yourself in their shoes. Most people aren’t trying to make you angry purposely. It’s usually a misunderstanding you can clear up if you try to understand where they’re coming from and the reasoning behind their actions.
Choose The Right Words When Expressing Your Emotions
Standing up for yourself and your hurt feelings with normal, unaggressive words is a skill everyone should have. Try to talk to the offender cooperatively instead of in an accusatory tone. It’s also essential to start the conversation with how you feel instead of how you think things should be. Avoid starting sentences with phrases like “you always do this wrong…” or “this is all your fault,” things like that.
They can understand your side when you explain precisely why their actions make you angry. When they see things from your perspective, they’re more likely to cooperate in the future. For example, if your child or partner always takes a long time to get ready and causes you to be late, avoid saying something like, “you’re always taking too long and making me be late!”
Instead, say something like, “I get anxious when I show up late to things, and I would really appreciate it if you helped me avoid this anxiety by being ready on time.” I know slowing down and fighting the urge to blow up at someone is not easy. Sometimes we can’t think straight, and words come flying out, causing us to say hurtful things we don’t even mean.
Acting this way gets you nowhere, and the good news is that the more you practice slowing down and expressing your anger with the right words, the more it becomes natural and easier—an excellent way to know the right things to say when angry is to write your thoughts beforehand. Write the angry words first, then go back and see how you can reword them to be more productive.
Relax Your Body And Mind When You Feel Angry
As I mentioned, feeling angry takes a huge financial toll on your body. If you find yourself tensing your muscles, grinding your teeth, clenching your fists, or even wanting to break something, find a way to relax physically. You’re more in control of your emotions when your body is relaxed. One of the best ways to do this is to utilize the incredible power of meditation. People believe meditation means sitting in an uncomfortable position for hours with closed eyes, but this isn’t true.
You can meditate for as little as 2 minutes and still get the benefits. Of course, you can meditate for as long as you’d like, but extended periods aren’t necessary. Meditation calms your body and mind. It helps you focus on the “here and now” instead of worrying about the past or the future. Being present sweeps away all the extra clutter in your mind, including feelings of anger you may have recently experienced. Making meditation a daily habit will help you gain peace of mind and lighten your spirit.
Guided imagery, yoga, long baths, exercising, reading, and painting are excellent ways to focus your thoughts and relax your body. Exercise releases feel-good endorphins and stabilizes your mood, making it especially great. If something starts to make you feel angry and you have the time, consider strapping on some sneakers and taking a quick run to help defuse your anger.
Be The Bigger Person When Someone Is Aggravating You
Dismissing yourself from a situation that is starting to make you angry isn’t cowardly. Quite the opposite because it takes a lot of strength and power to avoid a difficult situation and not give in to your impulse to fight or argue. Avoiding a full-on blowup is like turning the other cheek because you’re making a bigger decision than you or the situation. Some people fear they’ll be considered a wimp or a chicken by the person making them angry if they back off, but this isn’t true most of the time.
It can make the other person realize that the issue is silly and not worth fighting. Or, if it IS a serious issue, it can help them know that there are other ways to solve it that don’t require fighting or being confrontational. If, for whatever reason, the other person can’t see things this way and does feel like you’re a wuss and are “giving up,” making them the “winner,” then it’s best just to let them think this way.
They aren’t mature enough for you to be someone you need to “impress” or stand up to. They can have whatever opinion they want of you, which doesn’t mean anything. Remember, other people’s opinions aren’t your reality. You can walk away from a tense situation and know you’re the bigger person- that’s nothing to be ashamed of!
Express Your Thoughts And Emotions In A Journal
Writing down your thoughts is incredibly helpful when you’re starting to feel angry. Journaling allows your rage or fury to release itself from your body. Bottling up your anger without expressing it is one of the fastest ways for it to damage your body and mind. When something bothers you, pick up a journal and jot everything down. Don’t worry about your handwriting or correct sentence structure- just write! Let it all come rushing out onto the paper, and you’ll be surprised at how relieved you feel afterward.
Putting your negative (and positive) emotions into a journal allows you to look back on them and recognize any patterns. Date and timestamp your entries before you begin writing, then look at your entries a few weeks later to see if there are recurring days of the week or times of the day. Something could trigger your anger at specific times of the day that you’re unaware of, and time-stamping will help you discover them.
For example, if you’re most angry in the mornings, it could be that you’re not getting enough quality sleep or waking up too abruptly, instantly ruining your mood. If you see that your angriest entries are always written right after work, it could mean that your job is stressing you out and causing you to be angry or irritated, and it might be time to look for something you’d enjoy more.
Make A Music Playlist To Listen To When Feeling Agitated
Just like people have special playlists for studying or going on a run, you can also make a playlist to calm you down when you get angry or upset. Look for upbeat songs or magnificent classical pieces to lower your heart rate. Experiment with different music genres and note which makes you feel the best.
Turning to music instead of fixating on whatever makes you mad instantly distracts you from those negative feelings and lets you focus on something else. Not only that, but listening to music relaxes your body, causes your brain to release dopamine, lowers stress, helps you sleep better, and even keeps your brain healthy in old age.
Reach Out And Seek Help When Necessary
Although feeling angry is customary and even healthy sometimes, there are circumstances where it can be unhealthy and problematic. If you’re angry more often than not, this could signal an anger problem. This is especially true if you act out aggressively or are violent when mad. You’re not alone if you have anger issues; there’s no shame in seeking help. Letting your anger get the best of you and giving in to it will only cause you to hurt yourself, hurt others around you, and keep you from growing.
It can also ruin your relationships and affect your work. That’s why getting help managing your anger issues is so important. Reach out to a family member or a friend, or get a psychic reading from a reputable online psychic advisor. They can dive deep into your being to see what’s bothering you and causing you to suffer from these anger issues. There’s always a reason for having an anger problem.
It could be due to an unresolved event that happened to you in the past, or it could be your subconscious trying to tell you something. It could even be your body or mind trying to alert you to a deeper issue you’re unaware of and need to fix. Whatever it is, a genuine psychic can help you get to the bottom of it, and once it’s resolved, you’ll notice how much nicer your life becomes when you’re not always angry and ready for a fight.