You’ve probably heard the saying that “all good things must come to an end” right? People also like to say that it’s better to have love and lost than to never have loved at all.
These are all things people tell themselves when they learn that Disney’s “happily ever after” isn’t necessarily true and their relationship has ended.
Unfortunately, even good relationships can run into problems and troubles that end them. Divorce rates have shot up tremendously because couples are realizing that they don’t have to stay in unhappy marriages. There is no longer a stigma attached to it like there was in the days of our parents and grandparents.
There used to be a phenomenon known as the “seven-year itch” which described the hard times a couple goes through after being married for seven years but these days people are feeling the itch after only about three years.
Is it possible that with the wide acceptance of divorce, couples are no longer willing to put in the work it takes to keep a marriage alive and well? I’m not lying when I say that it takes a lot of effort to keep a relationship fresh and fun.
Sometimes it seems easier to just end it and cut your losses rather than to stick around and restore the marriage. I also know however that this isn’t the best course of action to take.
Everything good is worth fighting for and your marriage or relationship is the perfect example of this.
The United States government census shows that less than 5% of couples who divorce even sought or underwent marriage counseling before making the decision.
This doesn’t have to be the case for you and your partner though. By following the tips outlined in this article, you can beat the statistics and keep your relationship not only surviving but thriving. Are you up to the challenge??
Always Keep Communication Lines Open
Talking to your partner is one of the most important aspects of keeping a relationship alive. It’s actually kind of crazy how something so simple can have such an huge impact. This applies to all sorts of relationships as well, such as your relationships with family, friends, and co-workers.
You would think that talking to your partner about things is a no-brainer but it’s surprising how many couples fail to communicate with each other on a deep level. In healthy relationships, both partners communicate their thoughts, feelings, emotions, doubts, triumphs, etc. They talk openly about topics that are both good and bad.
There will be times when one or the other won’t like what the other is saying but you should respect and love each other enough to hear each other out in a calm manner. You should always take each other’s thoughts and feelings into consideration when they are being shared with you and reserve judgement unless you are being asked for your opinion or point of view.
Never berate or belittle each other when you are being vulnerable or communicating with each other or you’ll be less likely to talk in the future. When you fail to communicate with each other and hold your feelings in instead, you’re welcoming in stress, animosity and resentment.
Resentment is like a cancer to a relationship and if not taken care of, can lead to hostility and even hatred for each other. Don’t let this happen to you by keeping the communication lines open.
Never Stop Dating Each Other
Life can get hectic with work, kids, family stresses, school, etc. that it might be hard to find the time to just be together with each other one-on-one. I totally get it, I really do. However, spending time alone as a couple is extremely important for the health of a long-term relationship and should not be overlooked.
Give it the same priority you would give a work project or a school task. I’m sure you remember how it felt when you first met your partner and you would go on dates, trying to woo each other and falling in love with one another.
It feels good to know that someone wants you and is courting you. They are doing things that they know you will enjoy and make you happy because they love seeing you that way.
The longer a couple is together, the less importance they place on giving each other that feeling because they think it’s not necessary since they already have that person in their life. That couldn’t be more wrong.
It’s totally possible to fall in love with each other more every day and for this reason, treating each other and making time to go out for a show or a quiet dinner is still as important now as it was then.
Designate a day of the week as your ‘date night’ and get back to that old feeling. You can do it once a week or every other week but try to at least do it once a month at the minimum.
These date nights give you a chance to leave the stress of home and work life behind for the time being. As hard as it may be to not think of these things while you’re out, make it a point not to! These moments should be about each other and nothing else.
I understand that work, kids and your friends and family can be a big part of you so if you do talk about them, don’t let it turn into a tense conversation or an argument about any of those things. Keep it light and relaxed.
You’ll soon notice how these date nights make your relationship stronger and give you much needed couple time to remember why you fell in love in the first place.
Keep The Intimacy Alive
It’s not uncommon for you and your partner to stop having as much sex as you used to have when you first met. This happens to a lot of couples and it’s understandable. When you first met your partner, sex with them was so new, exciting, passionate, intense and thrilling. Now it might be more boring, repetitive, tiresome and monotonous.
You may feel like you’ll get more out of dwindling your to-do list down or catching up on some entertaining shows than you would out of jumping in the sack with your partner. If this describes how you’ve been feeling, I urge you to rethink how you view your love life. Sex is such an important part of relationships- both new and old.
When your sex life is good it can make a couple feel like they’re on cloud nine and when it’s not it can feel like you’re on totally different planets from each other. Even worse, if sex is important to one of you and not the other, the one feeling deprived may be tempted to stray or check out of the relationship. The same goes for if the sex is boring or feels forced or unnatural.
While not as common, there are some couples that have matching drives and desires and that is wonderful. If you’re both happy where you’re at then there is no need to change things up but if one of you is unhappy then you should consider bringing that intensity back. You can keep your sex life fresh and new by constantly looking for new ways to excite each other.
For example, finish your work early one day, send the kids to grandmas, make your partner’s favorite meal and serve them by candlelight and in some lingerie that highlights your best assets! Men are visual creatures and get excited by things like sexy clothes whereas women are more emotional creatures. They get excited by things like surprises and thoughtful gestures.
A secret weekend-getaway where everything is already paid for and planned can do wonders for your sex life. No matter how tired you are, or how many other people are pulling at you to get things done, sex with your partner should be fun and exciting. It shouldn’t feel like another chore or task.
Be open-minded and willing to try new things in the bedroom. Keep learning about new devices or techniques, get advice from friends or books, listen to sexy stories, etc. There is a wide world of sex ideas out there and you may not know what you’ll like until you and your partner try it.
You might be pleasantly surprised with what you find and it’ll feel good to know that you’re both making an effort to keep the passion alive and burning no matter what.
It’s ok to get frustrated in your relationship and want to just give up and walk away. Sometimes people just really aren’t meant to be together and divorcing really is what’s best for them and there’s nothing wrong with that. Before you do that though, take a step back, get some time for yourself and think long and hard about what your relationship gives you.
Realize what you have made together and what you have accomplished as a team so far. Think about everything you would be giving up if you chose to separate. The grass may seem greener on the other side but remember that the grass is always greener where you water it!
Decide whether it is worth putting in the work and fighting for. There are bound to be ups and downs, good times and bad times but nothing is ever effortless and some loves only come around once in a lifetime.
If you have tried everything you can think of but still can’t seem to be happy in your relationship, or can’t decide if they are the one you should spend your life with or not, talk to an experienced love psychic. You will be pleasantly surprised by their knowledge, guidance and intuition.
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