How To Forgive People In 6 Steps

People come and go into your life. Some are in your life not by choice, like family and coworkers. Others, however, are in your life because you chose them to be, such as friends and romantic partners. Considering how many people you interact with in life, it makes sense that some or all will hurt you at some point.

It’s also fair to say that the same is true in reverse. You may end up hurting those you care about at some point in your relationship. Perhaps not on purpose or with intent, but it could happen. For this reason, love and forgiveness are necessary feelings to have. These two things get us through the hard times and keep us connected to the ones we love even when things haven’t been perfect with them.

In your life, you’ll have a lot of relationships with people. Families, romantic relationships, and friendships create the most powerful bonds. These are usually the people you get closest to, the ones you love the most. Love is such a strong emotion, and, unfortunately, the chances of hurt feelings go up anytime there are strong emotions.

Relationships Are Especially Prone To Hurt Feelings

Every relationship has a natural rhythm; some are smooth and peaceful, while others are bumpy and rocky. Some will always be rough, and some have difficulty between moments of peacefulness. Romantic relationships are especially prone to hurt feelings because when you love someone, it hurts so much when the relationship falls apart. Even if it was a mutual decision to separate, it could still hurt for a long time after.

If you struggle to make a relationship work, consider contacting a reputable online love psychic. They can read your energy and advise you on what you can do to improve your relationship. They can also tell you where it looks like your relationship is heading and whether you should fight for it or not. But sometimes, relationships just don’t work out no matter how hard you try.

Perhaps the person you thought was your soulmate broke up with you for someone else. Maybe they cheated on you or kept lying to you. You can let these losses become full of anger and resentment, or you can learn to forgive and let it go. You can move on from the experience and be stronger for what you went through, or you can be forever bitter and angry and always let it affect your day-to-day life.

How To Recognize When It’s Time To Forgive?

bad relationship outlook

When someone you love hurts you, it’s normal to feel pain and anger. But holding on to and living with these feelings isn’t healthy. Reliving the event in your head over and over and feeling resentment towards the person that caused you to hurt isn’t good for you. You can’t possibly focus on the future if you’re too busy holding onto the past. If you’re not careful, it’s easy to get trapped in a cycle of anger and pain.

It makes living in and enjoying the present much more challenging if you’re stuck in that trap. Being trapped also makes it harder to believe in a happier future. Recognizing when you need to forgive someone is easy. A telltale is if you’re unhappy and mad more often than happy and relaxed. Another sign is if you focus more energy on the person who hurt you than on your future.

You know you need to forgive that person when the pain of holding on to them is more than the pain of letting them go. As Mahatma Gandhi once said, “The weak can never forgive. Forgiveness is the attribute of the strong.” I know forgiveness isn’t always an easy thing to do, but I also know that it is possible. Not only possible but necessary for your well-being. Here are six steps to get you started on your road to forgiveness so you can heal and move forward:


Acknowledge That You Need To Let Go For Your Own Good

Let Go

Take some time to sit back and think about how your life has been affected by the person who hurt you previously. What negative issues are you experiencing in your day-to-day life? Does the person you resent still play a role in your life? Do you still have to see them and interact with them? Have your other relationships been impacted by this pain you’re feeling?

Do you have a hard time sleeping or eating? Do you find yourself angry, sad, or just unhappy in general all the time? Take a long look at your current life and be honest with yourself. Think about your feelings and any problems they’re causing. If you realize you want to be happier, then it’s time to unchain yourself from the past and be free.


Recognize The Role You Played In The Situation

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To move on from the pain someone caused you, look at the situation and see if you played a part in what went wrong. It’s easy to blame everything on the other person, but sometimes we’re also to blame for the bad things that happened. You need to understand your responsibility, if any, in the drama that unfolded.

Even though someone wronged you, ask yourself- did I do anything to cause any of this? In the case of abuse, you are the victim because that is NEVER ok. But, you should also look back and wonder if someone offered help to leave, and you declined. Did you think you could “fix” that person and improve them?

If so, acknowledging this now will help you be more aware of it in the future, should anything like that happen again. You may have been 100% blameless in the situation, and there was nothing you could do, and had no way out. It’s always a good idea to look back and see what, if anything, you could have done differently. Reflecting will help keep you from repeating the same mistakes.


Replace Anger And Resentment With Understanding And Compassion


I know feeling compassion towards someone you’re angry with is hard. I also know how difficult it is to forgive someone you view as harmful or hateful. However, our world is not always right and wrong or good and evil. The person who hurt you may not necessarily be bad; everyone makes mistakes.

Unless they make it their mission to go around hurting everyone, more than likely, they’re not terrible human beings. Maybe you were cheated on by your partner. Instead of feeling angry towards them forever, try to empathize with them. Something in their life keeps them from being honest and loyal. Try to find it in you to feel empathy towards them.

Take time to understand why that person said or did that to you. Often, their actions are more a reflection of how they feel towards themselves- not towards you. Put yourself in their shoes and picture what they might be feeling now. You may not understand them, but at least you’ll open up your empathic heart by trying.


Stop Living In The Past And Start Living In The Present

Focusing on the past

When you hold onto pain, you relive the event repeatedly and keep the hurt and emotional wounds fresh. Focus on the future by letting go of the painful past. There’s no use in holding onto that hurt and pain. The past is the past, and just like you can let go of a person, you can also let go of a painful moment. I know that when people often fight with their partners, it’s easy to bring up problems or failures from the past- don’t do this!

Keep the disagreements current; the past is the past. Don’t keep bringing up previous mistakes because you’re mad at them. Remember that the pain, stress, and unhappiness you currently feel came from past events, and it’s just excess baggage you carry around. You’re letting it weigh you down, keeping you from living happily here and now.


Start Meditating To Clear Your Head

Spiritual meditation

Instead of focusing so much time and energy on the past, refocus your attention on the current moment. Think about what kinds of things are happening in your life now. What joy can you find in them? Regularly meditating is a powerful way to be in the present and find your everyday joy. Meditating helps you realign your focus to what’s valuable in your life at this very moment.

It helps keep the past behind you and the future in front of you. Stay intentional and consistent with meditation, and you’ll be amazed at the positive changes you’ll experience. To deepen your spiritual meditation, use crystals during your practice. Healing crystals are a powerful tool that anyone can benefit from.

Please read my article The 7 Most Common Healing Crystals And How To Use Them to learn about the different kinds of crystals and to help you decide which ones to use. Meditating with crystals helps to raise your consciousness and awareness on a spiritual level. They deepen your intuition and bring insight and intention to your mind.


Let Your Forgiveness Be Known

You’ll notice that your anger has faded once you transition from mad and resentful to empathic and forgiving. You’ll have newfound peace by simply forgiving someone. To fully maximize the benefits of forgiveness, you must let the person who hurt you know you have forgiven them and no longer feel hate or resentment towards them. You can do this by talking to them in person or writing them a letter.

The letter should outline what they did to you, how it affected you, and how you’re heart wants you to forgive them. If you can’t communicate with them, or it’s too dangerous to tell them, write a letter anyways. Once you’ve written it, you can have a personal moment where you (safely) burn the letter and free yourself from that person and their damage to you.

You may find your heart filled with compassion and understanding towards them after this. You might even find yourself hoping that person is happy in their current life and wishing them the best. That’s you letting go and freeing yourself. It’s you moving on wholeheartedly from that person, the situation, and the past. That’s you healing your spiritual wounds.

You Don’t Have To Live With The Pain Caused By Others

You can’t control or change other people and how they treat you. But you CAN control your feelings, thoughts, actions, and mindset towards the situation. You may not feel like you’re in charge of your feelings but trust me, you are. You’re stronger than you think. Forgiving people won’t change past events, but that isn’t the purpose.

Forgetting and pretending like it never happened is also not the purpose of forgiveness. The whole point of forgiving someone isn’t for THEM- it’s for YOU. It’s to be the happiest version of yourself without anything weighing you down. If you’ve followed these steps and still can’t seem to forgive or move on, it could be that your sacral chakra is blocked or misaligned.

Your sacral chakra is located in your lower abdomen and is in charge of energy, compassion, emotional stability, grounded intuition, and a general passion for life. Contact one of the trustworthy and talented psychics below to find out why yours could be misaligned and to help you regain your balance.

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Angela Moore founded Psychic Review Online in 2008 after being scammed out of her life savings by a psychic con artist. Since then she has devoted her time to rooting out the frauds and helping people find a real psychic reader.

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