6 Steps Towards Forgiveness
People come and go into your life. Some of them are in your life without any choice from you, such as family and coworkers. Others however, are in your life because you wanted them in it, such as friends and romantic partners.
With so many people that you interact with throughout your life, it’s only logical that you’ll be hurt at some point or another by some (or even all) of them. It’s also fair to say that at some point in your time knowing them, you will hurt them also. Perhaps not on purpose or with intent, but it could happen.
For this reason, love and forgiveness are important feelings to have. These two things get us through the hard times and keep us connected to the ones we love even when things haven’t been perfect with them.
In your life, you’ll have a lot of relationships with people. Families, romantic relationships, and friendships create the most powerful bonds of all. These are usually the people you get closest to, the ones you love the most.
Love is such a strong emotion, and unfortunately anytime there are strong emotions involved, the chances of feelings getting hurt go up.
Every single relationship has its own natural rhythm, some are smooth and peaceful, and others are bumpy and rocky. Some are always going to be rough, and some just have their moments of difficulty in between moments of peacefulness.
Romantic relationships are especially prone to hurt feelings because when you love someone, it hurts so much when the relationship falls apart. Even if it was a mutual decision to separate, it can still hurt for a long time after.
If you’re struggling to make a relationship work, it never hurts to contact a reputable online love psychic so they can read your energy and give you advice on what you can do to improve your relationship. They can also tell you where it looks like your relationship is heading and whether you should fight for it or not.
But sometimes, no matter how hard you try, relationships just don’t work out. Perhaps the person you thought was your soulmate broke up with you for someone else. Maybe they cheated on you or kept lying to you. You can let these losses become full of anger and resentment, or you can learn to forgive and let it go. You can move on from the experience and be a stronger person for what you went through, or you can be forever bitter and angry and let it always affect your day-to-day life.
How To Recognize When It’s Time To Forgive?
When someone you love hurts you, it’s normal to feel pain and anger. But holding on to and living with these feelings isn’t healthy. Reliving the event in your head over and over and feeling resentment towards the person that caused you to hurt isn’t good for you.
You can’t possibly focus on the future if you’re too busy holding onto the past. It is so easy to get trapped in a cycle of anger and pain if you’re not careful. It makes it so much more difficult to live in and enjoy the present if you’re stuck in that trap. Being trapped also makes it harder to believe in a happier future.
Recognizing when you need to forgive someone is easy. A good sign would be if you find yourself unhappy and mad more often than you’re happy and relaxed.
Or if you’re always focusing so much of your energy towards the person who hurt you instead of towards your future.
You know you need to forgive that person when the pain of holding on to them is bigger than the pain of letting them go.
“The weak can never forgive. Forgiveness is the attribute of the strong.” Mahatma Gandhi
I know forgiveness isn’t always an easy thing to do. I also know though that it is possible to do. Possible and necessary for your well-being.
Here are 6 steps to get you started on your road to forgiveness so you can heal and move forward.
Take some time to sit back and think about how your life is being affected by the person who hurt you in the past. What negative issues are you experiencing in your day to day life?
Does the person you feel resentment towards still play a role in your life? Do you still have to see them and interact with them? Have your other relationships been impacted by this pain you’re feeling?
Do you have a hard time sleeping? Eating? Do you find yourself angry, sad or just unhappy in general all the time?
Take a good, long look at your current life and be honest with yourself. Think about your feelings and any problems that are being caused because of them. If you come to realize that you do want to be a happier, then it is for sure time to unchain yourself from the past and be free.
Recognize The Role You Played In The Situation
In order to move on from the pain someone caused you, it’s important that you look at the situation and see if you played a hand in what went wrong. It’s easy to blame everything on the other person but sometimes we are also to blame for the bad things that happen.
In the case of abuse, you are the victim there because that is NEVER ok. But, you should also look back and think if there were times you were offered help to leave and you chose not to take it? Did you think you could “fix” that person and make them better?
If so, acknowledging this now will help you be more aware of it in the future, should anything like that happen again. Perhaps you were absolutely blameless in the situation and there was nothing at all you could do and had no way out.
It’s always a good idea though to look back and see what, if anything, you could have done differently. This will help keep you from repeating the same mistakes.
Replace Anger And Resentment With Understanding And Compassion
I know it’s hard to feel compassion towards someone you’re angry with. I also know how difficult it is to forgive someone who you view as a bad or hateful person.
Unless they make it their mission to go around hurting everyone, more than likely, they are not a terrible person.
Maybe you were cheated on by your partner; instead of feeling anger towards them forever, try to feel empathy for them instead. There is obviously something in their life that keeps them from being an honest, loyal person.
Try to find it in you to feel empathy towards them. Spend some time trying to understand why they said what they said or did what they did to you. A lot of times, their actions are more a reflection of how they feel towards themselves, not towards you.
Put yourself in their shoes and picture what they might be feeling at this moment. You may not be able to understand them, but you will open up your empathic heart by at least trying.
Stop Living In The Past And Start Being In The Present Moment
When you hold onto pain, you’re basically reliving the event over and over and keeping the hurt and emotional wounds fresh. Focus on the future by letting go of the painful past.
I know a lot of times when people fight with their partners, it’s easy to bring up problems or failures from the past. Don’t do this!
Keep the disagreements current, the past is the past, don’t keep bringing up previous mistakes just because you’re mad at them right now.
Remember that the pain, stress and unhappiness you feel currently came from events that happened in the past and it’s just excess baggage you’re carrying around. You’re letting it weigh you down and it’s keeping you from living happily in the here and now.
Start Meditating To Clear Your Head
Instead of focusing so much time and energy on the past, refocus your attention to the current moment. Think about what kinds of things are going on in your life right now. Think about what joy can be found in these things.
Meditating helps you realign your focus to what is important in your life at this very moment. It helps keep the past behind you and your future in front of you. Stay intentional and consistent with meditation and you will be amazed at the positive changes you’ll experience.
To deepen your spiritual meditation, use crystals during your practice. Healing crystals are a powerful tool that anyone can benefit from. Read my article The 7 Most Common Healing Crystals And How To Use Them to learn about the different kinds of crystals and to help you decide which ones to use.
Meditating with crystals helps to raise your consciousness and awareness on a spiritual level. They deepen your intuition and bring insight and intention to your mind.
Let Your Forgiveness Be Known
Once you make the transition from mad and resentful to empathic and forgiving, you’ll notice that your anger has faded. You will have newfound peace simply by forgiving someone.
In order to fully maximize the benefits of forgiveness, it’s important that you let the person who hurt you know that you have forgiven them and no longer feel hate or resentment towards them.
You can do this by either talking to them in person, or you can just write them a letter laying out what they did to you, how it affected you, and how you have found it in your heart to forgive them.
If you’re unable to communicate with them, or it’s too dangerous to let them know, still write the letter. You can then have a personal moment where you (safely) burn the letter and free yourself from that person and the damage they did to you.
You may find after this that your heart is actually filled with compassion and understanding towards them. You may even find yourself hoping that they’re happy in their current life and wishing the best for them.
That’s you letting go. That’s you freeing yourself. That’s you being able to move on wholeheartedly from them and the past. That’s you healing.
There may be pain caused to you by someone important in your life at some point, and that’s ok. That’s on them. But what’s not ok is living with the pain for the rest of your life.
You can’t control or change other people and how they treat you. But what you CAN control are your feelings, thoughts and actions towards the situation. You can change your mindset.
You may not feel like you’re in charge of your feelings but trust me, you are. You’re stronger than you think you are.
Forgiving people won’t change what happened in the past, that isn’t the point of it. You also don’t have to forget about it and pretend it never happened.
The whole point of forgiving someone isn’t for THEM, it’s for YOURSELF. That way you can be the happiest version of yourself possible without anything weighing you down.
If you have followed these steps and still can’t seem to forgive or move on, it could be that your sacral chakra is being blocked or is misaligned. Your sacral chakra is located in your lower abdomen and is in charge of energy, compassion, emotional stability, grounded intuition, and a general passion for life. Contact a trustworthy, talented psychic to find out the reason yours could be misaligned and to help you get it back in balance.